Josh Groban - Higher Window (GMA Fall Concert Series 2010)

I drew my line across the sand
And set my flag in no man's land
But here I am the one man band
With a song that's meant for two

And there is a light, from a higher window
Shining down on you tonight
And the music floats on the breeze
Bringing an easier time
And all of our cards are on the table
Tell me what you want to do
Just don't tell me that it's too late
For me to love you

the closure I need

It's been awhile. Feeling quite lazy to blog, don't really see the need to now but since I can be quite sure readership here is close to non-existence, I feel free-er to say more stuff.

It's been almost 2 months since Yeye's demise. Though I'm feeling better, I still think about him once in awhile. Sometimes I forget he's gone. I will plan to go to his place in Chinatown and keep in mind to get his usual favourite Yam Cake before going up to visit him, and then the realisation will sink in again. I only dreamt of him once though, but like most dreams I forget what happened.

In terms of school, I can safely say I enjoyed this semester a lot more than the previous sems, especially for Cog Psych Lab module. Stephen Lim's a really good lecturer and friend and I highly recommend any Psych student in NUS to do his modules. He can somehow spark interest in a somewhat dry and technical field in Psych (Cognitive Psych to be precise), not to mention he really cares for the students' welfare. Very encouraging chap too, I must add (he was up in the wee hours of the night answering email queries for last-min chiongers (aka my group), who were still doubtful/panicking/unsure...very nice! And I'm blessed to know Tze Yin, Celine and Nic. They rock! :D

Group Dynamics wasn't too bad either, at least I got to meet like-minded people and had fun along the way (although I'm still feeling sore over the Taboo grading system cos we lost!)

19th Century Lit was only fun cos of the tutorial class I'm in. Gordon and co. are really nice people. But NO MORE DAPHNE PAN MODULES. EVER.

Besides school, it's business as usual in church. Christmas events dominating my December calendar (Cell group party, youth service party, rehearsals for youth service party, Christmas in the North, Christmas festival, the list goes on) At least the Avatar costumes are more or less settled (found a cost-effective way to make blue body paint, thank God!) And props for movie re-enactment are done! Now for the people to learn their roles and coordinate well.

And after weeks of slogging on Saturdays, we're finally performing this sat (Alan and Corinne's play, that is). To be honest, this is one of the better things that's happening right now. I mean, I get to do something I love, reach out to people, not to mention the post-rehearsal outings and all have bonded us. It's really nice knowing that you have friends who got your back when times are tough and who are very supportive in their own unique way (Kudos to Alan, Nelvin, Trina, Wenyi) :) I'm just keeping my fingers crossed and praying very hard that I'll not screw up on Sat (forgetting my lines, not being able to control my laughter, etc..)!

Stanchart marathon 2010: Apart from my tak glam finisher photos, it was a personal disaster, with regards to my timing. I WILL do better for next year's Adidas Sundown 42.195 km! (yes, I signed up for it already. NO TURNING BACK!)

Cui and Dhab's back! One good thing about the year-end break is that they get to come back, although I have a feeling it wouldn't be so frequent anymore. Anyway, it was just like old times again. We've all grown and changed in our own ways but yet we're still the same in some aspects. Old friends are like comfort food, you'll never grow tired of hanging out with them (well, at least for me..haha). Hope the Aussie roadtrip materialises! And the Manchester one with Yee too.

On another note, God's been really good and like I said earlier, He brought in the right people at a time when I needed encouragement and support the most (sorry, emo/sentimental ranting moments again but it's MY blog, too bad!). Although it might be trivial to some, I really appreciate the times spent with Alan and co. recently (the JB outings, words of advice and support, prayers, lunch/dinner treats, etc). Not forgetting Lou (surprise, surprise but he was a dark horse when it comes to dishing out advice,haha) and of course AP, who was always there :)

Taken from ODB: "Sometimes God gives us the opportunity to use the lessons we've learned and the comfort He's given us during difficult times to help others in special ways . . .God doesn't comfort us to make us comfortable; He comforts us to make us comforters."

I can't agree more with this statement. In fact, this is what keeps me going whenever I'm on the verge of wallowing in stupid self-pity, haha. Looking back, maybe things happen for a reason. I might feel stupid for doing what I did. Painful and unexpected it might have been but, looking on the bright side, I did learn something from it. I definitely grew stronger emotionally and hopefully, I'll be more prepared should something similar happen in the future because that's life (my adage for the moment, heh).

To reiterate my point and remind myself again,

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

[2 Corinthians 1:3-4]

~Peace out~

In Memoriam (1921-2010)

"How can one believe that when a human being dies a thing in itself has come to nothing? Mankind knows, directly and intuitively, that when this happens it is only a phenomenon coming to an end in time, the form of all phenomena, without the thing itself being affected thereby. We all feel that we are something other than a being which someone created out of nothing: from this arises the confidence that, while death may be able to end our life, it cannot end our existence."

[Schopenhauer, 'The Indestructibility of Being']

It's been close to 2 weeks since you left us. Although I've regained my composure and got on with life, the deafening void you left behind still leaves me in a state of disbelief, not to mention the indescribable emptiness which words can never adequately express.

Although you're gone, the memories persist. Nevertheless, I'm clinging on to the fact that this separation is temporary.

'Till we will meet again, Yeye. . .

Was never true love loved in vain,
For truest love is highest gain.

No art can make it: it must spring
Where elements are fostering.

So in heaven's spot and hour
Springs the little native flower,
Downward root and upward eye,
Shapen by the earth and sky.

George Eliot

It's been awhile!

Soccer season's finally overrr! So glad that Yee has given her 101% commitment in it too and I hope she enjoyed spending time with us..haha...

Well,I'm feeling perpetual stress these days and it's starting to irritate me. It got so bad last week that I actually took time out to go for a late-night jog just to get the endorphins pumping in my system.It's like I worry over the smallest things when I can actually do my best and trust God to deliver. It's just that I'm a natural worrywart and that's bad 'cos the stress is taking a toll on my hair too! :(

Actually, I've been thinking about the YCG (aka cell group) leader position for the past few weeks, ever since Pastor Alan approached me and I accepted. Honestly, I'm not sure if I can make the cut; it's like I'm not ready for it and it's quite weird 'cos there's some sort of role reversal going on in my YCG now 'cos my cell group leader stepped down and I'm replacing her, and I'm still getting used to it :X

All these happening when I haven't even started teaching yet! :S

Moreover, I'm having doubts about whether I'm able to commit and stuff (and whether my studies will be compromised). As it is 3 of the 5 weekday nights are occupied; 4 if there's leaders' prayer meeting...
For the optimistic friends from church whom I talked to regarding this, they have advised me to "go ahead, I trust you can do it, and leave it in God's hands", I'm really grateful and flattered and all but somehow my intuition tells me that on the other hand, there are others who think otherwise (and it shows sometimes, which is quite discouraging). I know I shouldn't be a respecter of Man and all but sometimes these things get to your head, especially when you're already stressed up and all and someone has to come in and give their second opinion about what I should do and give their two cent's worth of unnecessary stuff.

I guess it's a major step to step out of my comfort zone (like what they always say) and see how God moves and uses me. I might even surprise myself in the process, who knows..haha...I really hope that I would be able to cope and manage my time well, I'm feeling so exhausted these days...I need a break!

On the academic side, I have many presentations going on and assignments to rush out as usual. Paediatric psych's getting quite boring 'cos it wasn't as how I imagined it to be (the only interesting lecture so far was on children with cancer).
Lit has been great, so glad that Shan, Evatte and Ai Ping are in my tutorial,haha...and not forgetting Charles (who never fails to crack us up), Stephanie (the sweet and demure girl who loves Germany) and Gordon (our devil's advocate) as well as the rest :)

For Group Dynamics, we're off to a great start and I'm starting to get really excited about the group trip. Just discovered today that our activity was the most authentic amongst the groups in our tutorial so, hope everything turns out well and that everyone will have fun...
Emotions lecture's interesting but we keep missing lectures due to the many public holidays on Friday! And as for Cog Psych Lab, I hope I made the right choice by signing up for it, we'll see how it goes....

Ok I know I'm starting to blabber already.

Argghh...so many things on my mind but anyway, I'm thankful for the usual few (especially the two) who's constantly there for me,pushing me on and cheering me up; you know who you are and I love you! :)

Anyway, I've not really been meeting up with people so, apologies if it happens to be you and you're reading this. I'll get down to it once everything's more "stabilised", haha! Wondering how you guys are doing too but hope everything's going steady for you! :D

forever 21: the inception of deception

Have you ever wondered why the legal age for adulthood is 21? Why can't they just round it down to 20? After all, it's the start of the twenties and it's a whole number...

I've always felt that age is just a number but now that I've finally hit 21, I'm starting to feel the effects of age setting in; not physically (although sometimes I feel my stamina has really gone down the drain eg. I can't shop/walk around for long cos my back will start to feel sore,etc...) but in terms of what I wanna do in life and so on. Hearing T talk about her study/work plans makes me reflect on what I really want and what path I should take. It's so hard, battling between needs and wants, so much so that the word "freedom" itself cannot seem to be used without applying the proper context and prepositions.

I've always felt that it would be a long way before I become a twenty-something person. Since young, I've always envisioned a person in his/her twenties to be someone loud, hip, fashionable, passionate about life and being the life of the party himself/herself, someone confident and probably unassuming and someone independent and comfortable in his/her skin. I've always imagined that once I hit 20/21, some magic force will transform me to be someone fitting my previous description to the point that I can't even recognise the new (better) me. The metamorphosis would be akin to the caterpillar-butterfly type.

So much for dreams. Apparently, I don't feel that way and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. People change, for better or worse and throughout the years, I'm sure you've seen people in your life (schoolmates, old friends) change physically and otherwise; some being pleasant surprises, others rude awakenings? haha!

Was looking through my old photos when D came over and I realised that although I have evolved (for lack of a better word) quite a bit physically, it's still the same old me inside. I'm not sure how to bring it across more succinctly but have you ever had the feeling that sometimes, your physical appearance doesn't quite match up to how you think/feel about yourself and how you imagine yourself to be like?

Maybe that's the reason why birthday celebrations came about: to ease the burden (eg. the responsibilities) that comes with age. By celebrating it with your loved ones, it reminds the birthday person that he/she is not alone in their life journey. And probably, this leads to the reason why some people feel the most miserable on their birthdays when their friends forget their special day (especially their close friends) cos the obvious implication is there. To the cynics out there, this might be a highly debatable point though.

Anyway, I'm really thankful that I'm not subjected to the above mentioned. In fact, I really thank God for great friends and family who did more than just remembering my birthday :)

For future reference,

Esther and Sheryl brought me to Hard Rock Cafe. Food and ambience was great, live band was playing. Requested for a Muse song but guess it was too challenging for them. Sang happy birthday for me instead (redeemed themselves immediately,haha). Saw Ms. He Siyao waitressing, cool right? :O Love E's photo montage and I can't bear to use the AT earphones!

Aiping and Duc brought me to Wild Honey. THE BREAKFAST ROCKS LA! Ice-cream. People-watched. Sephora for more than an hour, I think (again,haha!). Wore the necklace yesterday and today, so nice! and the Spongebob stuff goes without saying la hor! :D

Seafood buffet at Pan Pacific Hotel with the family, thanks to er yi! Bro ate so many mussels and clams that he had to go to the toilet midway,haha! Almost teared when I saw Maib's card...

Leeyin: AGAIN, can't believe that you underestimated your present! I love it! :D

Was pleasantly surprised just now in church when Wenyi called me to meet her at The Promise presumably on the pretext that there was a group meeting.Was met with a cake and the band people singing happy birthday instead (all thanks to Bert!).

Haven't forgotten all the personal wishes, text/fb messages, etc...

Thanks everyone! :D

Behind Closed Doors - Curtain Call

Behind Closed Doors - Curtain Call Prelude

Thank God for the event! Was really nervous, especially for the sound/music (didn't have the appetite for dinner and the butterflies in my stomach were raging wild big time!) but it went well, though I still felt that we sounded better during the final rehearsal.

Anyway, kudos to Alan not only for doing such a great job and putting his heart, soul, blood, sweat (lots of it, trust me!) and tears into the event but also for revolutionising the dynamics of Region A (not kidding). It really changed the attitudes of the people in Region A in terms of work ethics, but it also inspired them to be more than they are. Well, it really stretched and pushed my limits in a good way! I think it probably changed the way others usually view Region A (from the "slack" region to one that can put up a good show if they want to).

Most importantly, it brought us closer to God, especially when we begin to doubt the grandiosity of the whole project and how ambition and reality might not match up (which wasn't true, it was a success!). Like what Alan said before the show, we must constantly examine our intentions for staging the show and what we intend to achieve as this will make a difference in how we perform later. For me, I just hope that we were effective in transmitting the message of the story across to the audience and not just be remembered for the comic relief the script supplied.

Anyway, 'was met with a very pleasant surprise and I really am still very touched by it, haha...really meant a lot to me :)

Had 4 pratas after the event, didn't even realised how famished I was...haha! Was planning to list the names of everyone involved in this post as a form of appreciation but the list is too long so I'll be uploading Walter's curtain call credits video here soon...

Live band prac's tmr, hope we sound better this time, Michelle Ng's joining us! She'll be our acoustic guitarist! :D

la la la la la, doodoodoodoo!

Hello world! Don't really have the mood to blog regularly,especially since school is starting soon (3 days' time to be precise!) So far so good, I'm so thankful that bidding this sem was a breeze! ONE POINT FOR EVERY MODULE ONLY, YEAH BABEH! :D

So I'll be taking 4 Core mods and a lit mod: Group Dynamics, Cognitive Psych Lab, Psychobiological Perspectives on Emotion, Intro to Paediatric Psych and 19th Century Lit. We'll be doing Great Expectations again (wonder if it's a good or bad thing).

Looking back on what I did for the hols, first 2 months was spent slacking and meeting up with friends and stuff. It was only in the 2nd half of July that I had other stuff coming in like tuition, work and rehearsals.

Region A Event is next Fri, can't wait to get it over and done with. Not that I dread going for rehearsals but I just can't wait for all the hard work and preparation to be showcased finally. Learned quite a few things in terms of sound and theatre acting along the way too. I'm really excited, the cast and all have been practising hard, props were very nice (Benjamin and Beng Tian did a good job!) and costumes were efficient as usual. Hope everything flows nicely on that day...

Had live band practice for the coming Big Create, which is after our region event. I'll be doing vocals this time (actually Wenyi wanted me to be on guitar but I don't think I'll have time to learn the chords and all). We'll be doing Generous Mr. Lovewell by Mercyme, which I think is so much more suitable than Everything Impossible, plus it's an easy tune to bob along to.

Ohya! One exciting news! Actually this should be the crux of this post: My paternal grandpa has decided to convert to Christianity! How exciting can that be?! XD I was told this before I took a nap today, couldn't really sleep after that,haha...thank God seriously! :D It's really amazing, I mean I didn't really imagine that it'll become a reality so soon, maybe I'm really lacking in faith but for the moment I'm just so glad. Updates about my grandparents, they're back home in Chinatown with the new domestic help, Lestari. She's really nice, has a great heart for the elderly and really goes all out, not to mention she's proven herself to be trustworthy so far, so it's great!:)

Met up with Trina just now, we were just talking abt going abroad together and if everything goes well, we might be flying Down Under come December! :D

Next on the to-travel list:
1. Canada after Year 3 Sem 2?
2. Vietnam-Germany?
3. France (Nice, Marseilles, Paris!)
4.Norway, Scandinavia, Stockholm
5. Manhattan!

But for now, the more practical ones would be Bangkok and Taiwan due to financial constraints. Dreams, dreams, dreams...

And Yee's flying off to Wenzhou tonight, will only be back on the 18th. Somehow, I sorta miss her already, although we only meet on Sat for soccer but still....(Yee: lemme hear your mashups soon!)

And the sleepover with LY's still pending! So many things to do, so little time...

Behind Closed Doors Trailer 3

Trailer 3's out! Hope Karen recovers soon from her gastric flu, otherwise I have to play the sophisticated lady...and guess who's the old man? Haha!

Behind Closed Doors Trailer 2

2nd trailer for our region production, come support us if you can alright! :D

outdated updates

So glad that yesterday worked out relatively well. In fact, God never fails. Prayed for good weather and although there was intermittent rain, it stopped at the right time! :)

Basketball with Ai Ping, Jerome and her church friends was fun (although I wasn't used to basketball,haha)! Her cousins were so funny, the things they do and the antics they come up with are seriously hilarious!
And what can I say about soccer? It was puzzling how the people cheered us on as if we were World Cup players, even though the way the goals were scored were nothing like World Cup standards, haha...and I'm so proud of Sze Yee! Though she did talk about her experiences with soccer in school, this was my first time seeing her play and she was good la! But to be fair, the rest of the team were great as well. Wenyi really had the goalkeeper "seh" and Jiani and Kamille were great strikers, so proud of them!:)

As for Ballet Under the Stars, it was exceptional. Didn't really expect myself to tear while watching ballet, especially when they did Don Quixote pas de deux. Wasn't surprised to know that it was a crowd favourite. The facial expressions, body movement (very flexible!), graceful moves and nifty footwork altogether created a raw display of passion and energy that transcends language. And I really applaud the male ballet dancers cos I think it's more challenging for them to be graceful yet manly at the same time. That's why I kinda like their interpretation of Piano Concerto No.2, Opus 102. Felt that they struck a great balance between the two, especially that Caucasian dancer (love the facial expressions!).

Anyway,I'm so excited about the upcoming region event. I'll be acting again but in a minor role. However, it'll be more challenging cos Alan (the director) wants to "stretch my acting" (in his words) and doesn't want my usual acting idiosyncracies to surface. Therefore, this time I'll be the hardworking, hard-selling cable tv promoter who only wants to earn money and doesn't give a hoot about what people think,haha. And besides that, I'm coming up with the sound and music for the play which means I have a chance to be behind the console, so exciting!
It's such a pleasure to serve God and do the things I enjoy at the same time. It's like I can't help but look forward to meetings and rehearsals even though there's so much commitment involved, not to mention the stress and exhaustion.
And I have to mention this cos I didn't expect the region A people to be so supportive and efficient this time. Sheryl, Ethan and Esther have already settled most of the costumes (trust me, I've seen the list and the stuff they're required to source for are quite challenging. Plus they were only given the list last week and they're almost 90% done with sourcing. Amazing!) Yin Lai is as efficient as usual, with all the updates and coordination of rehearsal times and all and the actors are really bonding well and enjoying rehearsals as much as I do. Well,it's time Region A get their act together and give their best for once so, actually I don't blame Alan for being so passionate, getting the whole region to participate and going all out just to make this production a success.

And tomorrow's my last day of giving tuition! Trust me, teaching subjects like Physics and A Math (aka subjects which I loathe) especially when I've not done it for a long time, is torturing not to mention the amount of prep work involved, but thank God that she's a hard worker (and a very understanding one too I must say!)

Pixie Lott - 'Gravity'

I thought I should be getting better at it...

" Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

[Romans 5:1-5]

Such a timely message, in light of how I felt last night. Anyway, I think this verse is also applicable to you guys and hopefully it serves as an appropriate encouragement as well.

On another note, we just got back from visiting the grandparents. Thank God Mama's happily settled in the nursing home. She was showing us around the place: where her bed was, who her friends were, etc...We're all so glad and happy that she's doing well.

And Yeye's doing well too although he wants to go home asap (he's been pleading with the nurses to discharge him and he even knows that they're perpetually lying to him by telling him he will be discharged "by this afternoon" haha!) Another sign that he's recuperating? He wanted Daddy to buy 4D (the numbers were based on his bed no. and the bed no. that was opposite from his!) Besides, he told us to pass the message to Mama to take care of herself and that she's constantly on his mind (such a loving pair of elderly star-crossed lovers,haha).

tete-a-tete

1st of July today, can't believe the hols are ending soon;and it's almost the end of the week too.

Mama was transferred to a nursing home in Simei last week on the day Yee and Joan came over for dinner and the movie marathon. Just checked with the nurse the previous day and heard that she's doing well. As for Yeye, he's also transferred to a hospital in Simei which makes it very convenient to visit both of them so thank God for that...

This week was great!

1. Met up with LY before HOF (can never forget the caffeine overdose. This really confirms that I'm slightly caffeine-intolerant, haha)

2. had Amazing Race (we were leading at first 'cos of Vir's great Sudoku skills but we lost out at the route from *SCAPE Park to the former Japanese Gardens, which was supposed to be nestled between Commonwealth and Queenstown. Subsequently, Walter's team and ours went to the wrong pitstop 'cos we mistaken Woodlands Waterfront Park for Punggol "future" jetty, which was quite funny (took the bus to Punggol Road End - see how ulu-sounding the name is - and when we literally reached the end, we were met with construction cranes and mounds of sand, haha!) Got eliminated by phone when we were en route to "Sembawang jetty."

3. Had 9(-2) baskets of Xiao Long Bao with Duc (still can't believe it!). Can't agree more that the Steamboat cum Xiao Long Bao deal is worth it! And of course, the singing as usual. I'll not elaborate on the eyeliner here though, haha!

4. Met Rhyss and Steph for prata and ice-cream. Great time catching up as usual but somehow I notice that the topics will inevitably veer towards marriage (Why Steph?! haha!)

5. Watched Full Monty with Nat. One of the best musicals I've seen for a long time and it's not because of the fact that they really went nude eventually (they did it in a surprisingly tasteful, unrevealing way though. Does it make sense? haha...). Great debut for Adrian Pang's solo effort. Can't wait for their next show!

Other than that, it was swimming with Joan as usual and I got to meet up with AP today! :D Meeting up with Cui and the sec school pple next week cos Cui's back!

Jennifer Lopez - HD "Louboutins" Live Performance

J.Lo looks so good here...awesome!

The reason why I'm blogging earlier than usual is due to desperate attempts to calm myself down from my grandma, who is getting wayyyy out of hand. She started getting violent when I brought her to bathe just now (read: scratching and lashing out at me), all the while shrieking and wailing like a hyena out of control. She thinks that we're treating her like a "3-year old" - in her own words - and that we're not giving her privacy by bathing her. Don't get me wrong, we did try to ask her to bathe on her own but she'll continue sitting on her bed till kingdom come and she hasn't move as much as an inch. As such, we had no choice but to bring her in. It was REALLY bad and I'm just glad that I have some much-needed me-time now to come to my peaceful online sanctuary (drama or what, haha)...

As I'm typing this, she's still in the room muttering and grumbling under her breath (which reminds me that she hasn't brushed her teeth yet and that I haven't given her her saltwater gargle, drat). I'm this close to exploding like a nuclear bomb on steroids!!

And just before this recent outburst, which is known as "sundowning" (I researched) she was actually alright, but she was doing, what I would like to call "dry-crying." I tried to comfort her but to no avail. It's like she's lost in her own little degenerating universe of gloomy thoughts and that the only way out is getting into that alternate universe of hers.

Thank God that Maib is back from camp: she got quite a rude awakening to the horrors of what we've been through and unfortunately, Maib's fuse is shorter than mine, haha...

Just remembered that the hospital rang Dad up last night to request for permission for Yeye to be strapped to his bed cos he was wandering around the hospital last night, acting all "Cai Shen Ye" and throwing money from his pocket.

I don't know how to feel about all this, really. One moment I'm all optimistic and patient, trying to empathise with their situation (know it's not easy for Mama to be away from home for so long and away from her husband, and for Yeye to be cooped up so long). At other times, it'll be impatient, angst-ridden me shouting at Mama (I really tried but I'm human after all) and self-pitying myself. Last night I was over at their place getting their essentials so I got a chance to look through their belongings. They actually still kept my toothbrush from childhood in case I plan to stay over at their place again. And the toys my brother and I played with in our younger days when we stayed over were still there. Brought back a floodgate of memories...

Visited Yeye with Aunty Winnie (Dad's cousin)last night. He's on the brink of getting dementia too. He kept insisting that Mama bring us to his favourite restaurant and order glutinous rice (which he thinks is our favourite) for us. Kept taking out money from his pocket for it too.

I want the old "them" back. I wish dementia was just a dream, things will be so much easier. I can wake them up from this living nightmare and all of us wouldn't have to suffer anymore. It's heartbreaking.

Finally found out what's wrong with the internet connection (and fortunately the problem is the router, not my laptop!).

Anyway, my grandpa's still warded and though the doc said that he has recovered from his minor stroke, he's still in a dazed state (can't recognise and remember us at times). Grandma's now staying with us and from the sound of things, this might be a permanent measure. Even after grandpa gets discharged, he might come over too, and I'm wondering how we're gonna cope with that since all of us are so busy. I mean, it's already been four days and my brother and I are feeling the effects of taking care of grandma, who has dementia and starts getting cranky in the afternoons (she keeps going on and on about how her mother would be bringing her to the hospital, among other bizarre things she said).

I think the one who's undergoing a major lifestyle change would be my brother. Besides having to relocate to the sofa, he had to withstand the sudden appearance of dentures in his drinking cup and missing cash from his wallet (apparently my grandma took nothing but the cash from his wallet and clipped it together with her cash in her bag). And like us, he had to endure the endless whining and moaning of my very pessimistic and resigned grandma, who thinks that her husband is dead and who thinks that we're keeping the "death" from her.

I'm just concerned that this will affect my brother's A levels this year. He's already starting to lose his appetite, which was normally quite voracious. And what will happen when school starts for me and there's no one to take care of them? They were considering the old folk's home but I'm not really keen with the idea...urghh...

Anyway,I'm hoping that this wouldn't affect me that much. For now, the only changes in my routine would be that I would have to wake up much earlier than before and constantly keep a lookout, prepare her meals, bathe her and make sure she's kept occupied. But of course I would want my life to continue as normally as before, and I wouldn't want to be cooped up at home all day. It's like I have to think twice before stepping out of the house for any reason. It can drive me nuts at times, hearing the incessant muttering and also heartbreaking when she starts to cry and ask about my grandpa. Pray for us if you happen to see this ok, I need patience and your prayers, not pity..haha...

" Then the King said to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of my brothers of mine, you did for me.'

[Matthew 25:34-40]

Super Junior(슈퍼주니어)_미인아_뮤직비디오(MusicVideo)

Can't help but admit that I actually like this, haha. Grows on you after awhile esp the choreography. Dance, dance babeh!

Getting bored and restless now. Why am I complaining now that I have ample time to R&R? I think the problem lies with the fact that school has weaned me to treasure each second I have and to fully utilise my time to the max. Now that I have so much time on my hands, I've done all the things that I could do; for eg.cleaning the house, packing random things, exercising a lot and eating equally as much (if not more,haha), met up with friends, some of which I didn't expect to keep in touch with, etc...

But at least I have a job secured for the second half of July, all that's left now is the YMCA position (or the IMH internship). It's amazing how God really provides: was just praying about the job situation today and Jean called me in the afternoon after that! :D

Anyway, Lady Gaga's Alejandro music video's out. I think her music video budget is getting tighter cos she's cutting back on costumes and going back to basics, if you know what I mean. Or maybe she's reducing her carbon footprint by cutting the slack on costly fabric and getting all her backup dancers, including herself, to shave off their stylish coiffures and don, erm..."environmentally-friendly" haircuts so that they wouldn't have to use more energy for air-conditioning in this humid weather?

Arghh, any funny comedies, rom-coms or chick flicks to recommend? What I seriously need now is a really, really good laugh...

Fecit Potentiam

"I'm hungry, but they're starving"

Famine camp was a failure in terms of planning. If there was anything good out of it, it would be a valuable lesson about communication and organising/handling over a 1,000 people. The bag-collection procedures on the last day was a disaster and it resulted in the buildup of more than 800 tired, hungry and angry campers cramped in a tiny space, jostling to collect their bags. And in terms of manpower, I think the volunteers and facilitators were underutilised and clueless about their roles most of the time. Trina and I were sitting around most of the time and if we weren't shifting stuff or being in charge of the games, we would be napping whenever we had the chance to.

But of course there were enjoyable moments too like the games on the first day: the mass burial was really a sight man! And there were many "glitches" like "dead" people texting while their families searched for them. Also, "dead" people responding to the families when the latter shouted their names in a bid to locate them.




Still unable to adequately capture all the campers in here. They were preparing to build shelters at *SCAPE Park, Orchard and break some Book of Records for "the most number of people building shelters in one location together."



As for the highly-anticipated flash mob at Orchard, it was so-so only. Wasn't even aware that we're collaborating with the Youth Olympics organising/publicity team for it. To be fair, it was quite a sight to see a sea of youths in orange moving in synchrony to the strains of hiphop music although it could have been better if the campers knew the dance steps and were more enthusiastic about it (must be the hunger and exhaustion).

Speaking about hunger, it kicked in towards the evening on the first day after the Milo truck left but thankfully, it wasn't as bad as I thought although the cravings kept coming,haha...and the Crystal Jade they provided when we broke fast wasn't bread as expected! It was (high class) chinese mixed rice but it was a welcoming sight after 30 hours without food.

That's about it for the famine camp, although I'm glad to be home again and sleeping on my bed without any intrusion of privacy and people crossing over me in the wee hours of the night/morning, not to mention bathing sans pail. (I know,I know. I've been taking all this for granted for too long,haha).

Finally checked results after much thinking, worrying and procrastination. All I can say again is thank God! Although some modules were a disappointment (like Adolescent Psych,especially), my CAP improved and that's all that matters! :D

This month has been a harrowing one and the results came as a much-needed boost to the series of unfortunate events (cliche as it sounds) which I hope would come to an end soon. Anyway, chances that the next piece of news being positive (in the light of a crisis) would be higher right? ("the only other way is up." I mean, how bad can anything get already? Even the recession has its own cooling-off period, so to speak).

But I have so much to thank God for and I definitely learned many lessons (albeit in a hard way) after all these, but maybe that was needed to get the message across, sigh. Hopefully all these have not come to naught.

On a very happy note, I signed up for the Standard Chartered Half Marathon in December at such an unbelievable price! :D Actually, it's partly due to the early-bird special (it's 36 bucks for my category) but because I'm a StanChart credit card holder, I get 15% shaved off the total and what's more, because I signed up under TeamNUS, I get a complimentary marathon jersey! (which means I pay $30.60 for 2 jerseys, a brand new race route and an unforgettable experience complete with another round of muscle aches, sores, abrasions and hopefully, tons of 100 Plus along the way!) HAPPINESS! :D

Anyway, thought I would like to share this. Taken from an email from my aunt which I found rather ironical:

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out non-essential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'

-> Hmmm, I'm fine with age and height for now but not to worry about weight is a bit too much, isn't it? Makes me think of the Body Fat Percentage thing...urghhh...

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

-> which I find particularly true. Someone came to mind after reading this,haha...

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.. Never let the brain idle.

'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

-> The latter should be my take-home statement, considering the drive to look for work at this time isn't particularly very high.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

-> couldn't agree more. Easy to say, difficult to do, especially when there are so many things calling out for your attention.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

-> a bit extreme, especially if carried out in a public place? But it would be normal if I was with a friend (and again, a certain someone pops into mind. Different from the previous one if you were wondering,haha...).

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.

Be ALIVE while you are alive.

-> take-home statement no.2! The irony is that although "we" are with "ourselves" in our entire life, we will never fully understand/comprehend ourselves.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.

-> depends though. We can't always get what we want, limitations abound. Doesn't really need to be explained,right...

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

-> not really an issue for me. The real challenge is to stop eating ice-cream/sweet stuff at night!

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

-> but often the purpose of holidaying involves taking guilt trips right? Unless you're a missionary or something...

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

-> hmm,surprisingly it's harder than it sounds...

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Kinda sums up everything nicely...haha..

Sundown was the worst and best half-marathon ever. Let's start with the bad news,shall we?

Met up with Trina at Pasir Ris MRT to catch the shuttle to Changi Exhibition Centre but as the queue was very long,we decided to cab. At the taxi stand, we agreed to share cab with a Caucasian and another female runner and the latter gave the driver the wrong directions! She thought that Changi Exhibition Centre was Expo, for goodness sake. And I even asked her whether she got it right but she insisted that the 2 venues were the same. So when we got there and realised that we were at the wrong place (with the ang mo guy muttering profanities under his breath already), we were very late...about 8.45pm, to be precise. And the race starts at 9pm.

So we started to flag cabs in desperation and tried to beat the taxi queue by pleading with the driver. Thank God for this Malay cab driver, who sacrificed his family time (not to mention the chances that he might be fined for picking passengers that were not in the queue) just to rush us there! Reached at 9.20pm, but due to the road closure, we had to run-walk at least 5km to the starting point! Very bad logistics planning here, organisers! Roads were still jammed even after the race. We were stuck in the same parking spot in Nelvin's car for at least half an hour before we could move out!

Anyway, back to the main point. I was quite angry with the runner for messing up everything but thinking back, I regretted that I didn't control my feelings well but, to think that we wasted so much energy running 5km even before the race! We made it for the second flag-off timing though. And that's where the best part comes in and I really thank God for it cos I wouldn't have made it without Him and my ipod. My timing improved 'cos I didn't walk at all but the water points after the 15km mark were a necessity.

Felt my world spinning at the 17km mark. Speaking about that, the distance markers this time round were quite misleading. One moment I was happy 'cos I thought I passed the 8km mark but I realised that it was for the 10km category. But the route was not bad even though it was a never-ending straight road 'cos we get to see the occasional airplane taking off just beside us.

According to my watch, I managed to clock at least 2hrs20mins but I really salute Trina man. She was much faster, without a doubt, but she was ill, so imagine what her timing would be if she was in optimal condition. Went for supper with Alan, Nelvin and their friends after that but I didn't eat cos I thought I would be having supper after that but guess what, Mom waited up for me so my hopes of having prata were dashed, haha...

Suffering from abrasions and my legs are aching badly especially the kneecaps but the satisfaction gained surpasses it all :)

Went for Famine Camp training last Sat with Trina. Have to admit that I sorta dragged my feet there initially cos it was held in the morning at ACS Barker so imagine what time I had to wake up! But it was better than expected, especially the games. Expected it to be the usual "Amazing Race,been-there-done-that" type of games but it turned out otherwise. Not only did it meet the objectives in bringing forth the message about poverty,but it was actually fun. It's something like The Sims where one belongs to a "family" and experiences events in real life (eg.you have to get vaccinated and educated, get a job and provide for your "family" and stuff). And just like reality, there'll be illegal services to get quick money (eg.prostitution, organ trading), which will lead to a higher possibility of "contracting HIV/AIDS." In essence, we get to experience how it is like to live in poverty in a third-world country.

Think the people in my group were the most "rah-rah" of all the groups. And I still can't get over the fact that out of the 2 guys in my group, one of them's called Duc! I mean,what are the odds man?!

Anyway, I'll be participating as one of the many game masters for the event, won't get to experience it as a camper but hope it'll be a success. Especially looking forward to the flash mob during the finale concert too!

The jersey for this year's Adidas Sundown marathon is so much nicer than previous year's, which was orange. It's black,white and red and it's sleeveless too,nice! :D Hope that all the running and gymming, although last minute, will pay off this Sat...

I'm so glad that I visited my grandparents yesterday...found out that Yeye is a closet camwhore! Cos we started taking photos with my phone. I'm just glad that they had a good time. Maybe I should make each visit an interesting one,haha...just airing my thoughts a lil' (chinese chess for the next visit? hmmm...)

Mothers' Day 2010: The Belated Edition

Why belated? you ask...well, it's cos mom and I had a minor tiff the night before so I wasn't really in the mood to even wish her, but after my emotions got the better of me, I decided that one day of quarrelling shouldn't supersede mom's many years of love and sacrifice for us, so I decide to humble myself and apologise,haha...glad I did anyway. Mom was really happy (as you can see), sorted our issues and best of all, she took a second helping (which means the cake wasn't a failure at all,haha!)

Mom still looks as pretty as her wedding day, not kidding :)


Bro was sleeping so, no pictures! haha...


Ohya, in case you were wondering, this is French Coffee Cake without coffee (ironic right, like Hokkien Mee without prawns...haha). The ingredients are pretty simple, the usual butter, self-raising and plain flour, egg, milk, white and brown sugar (the latter constitutes part of the topping together with walnuts, which makes the cake rather sweet) and surprisingly, even my sis likes it (she prefers sour to sweet stuff).

Hope my grandfather will be able to teach me how to make his banana-raisin muffins soon, thinking about it makes me salivate...(not a pretty sight I know)

Happy holidays! :D

Woke up at 2 today, can feel the biological clock phase-delaying already...

Devotion today reminded me of how great God is. I know this sounds like the typical, everyday Christian exhortation but it's really just amazing how one can love the unloved,or even people who persecuted and betrayed you in the blink of an eye. To me it's just absurd: imagine someone you love and care for (or even your arch enemy) boxes you, out of the blue, and all you do is stand there waiting for another punch and not retaliating.
And despite that He loves us so much that we can't even comprehend the depths of His love. The ODB phrases it as such:"Someone who loves us with a devotedness that is a mystery how we as sinners ever deserved it" and that "His love is wide, long, deep, and high and exceeds our knowledge (Ephesians 3:18-19)."

Loving someone is already tough by itself and I'm not even talking about people you dislike. That's where you get family/sibling conflict (mine manifests itself mostly as cold war actually, not the deep-heated verbal argument type,haha)and maybe sometimes even among friends. Hence it shouldn't be surprising that the cell group gave such practical answers when asked what love means to them a few weeks ago.
If love was really that easy, there wouldn't be marital conflict and the escalating number of divorce rates to match.

That is why, coming back to God's love again, His love would never fail us, like it or not, and that is another reason why I don't think backsliding is an option (not that I'm planning to) cos even if you deny/escape from God, He'll always be there. It's like sometimes you wanna run away from your family (just giving an example), and be free from their complaints and repulsive habits but ultimately, they'll still be there.

Speaking about family, I'm reminded of my mom. My aunts were asking me to coax mom to travel to Shanghai with them next month with my grandparents cos my mom refuses to go, and her reason was that she has to wake Maib up for school (!!!). I told mom that Maib can jolly well wake up on her own, using her 3 alarm clocks (yes, she literally has 3) and since she can do that on Saturdays for netball training, I don't see why it's different for weekdays.
Sometimes I feel mom should just take a break and stop worrying so much about us. In fact, she's being too selfless already and I hope we won't take it for granted. She should go and enjoy herself for once! Tell me what can I do to convince her?!

There was once I ask her what would she do if housework didn't exist in the world at all; she gave me a blank stare. And that is the reason why I'm always plagued with the Mothers' Day Dilemma: she's easily contented, yet practical and demanding at the same time. Jewelry, fluffy ornaments and trinkets wouldn't work for her, even flowers (In her own words: "what's the use of getting flowers when they'll die anyway?"). I can't even bake for her 'cos she doesn't fancy Western foodstuff and if I get books, she'll retort that it's a waste of money as she borrows from the library weekly. How,how,how?!

Haha, I digressed again. Just saw a picture of Jumbo restaurant's Deep Fried Beancurd Special on my desk and it's enough to prime me to rummage in my refrigerator for brunch now...'till then!

Day 3 of much-awaited holiday period is here!

Woke up at half past 1 but it turned out to be a productive day... Packed the whole wardrobe, cleared out unwanted clothes and bags. Packed the bookshelves after that (there's more space for new novels now! so excited!). Guess what, I'm so proud of my bro today - he voluntarily (yes, on his own initiative) packed Daddy's messy pig sty of a study area and tidied the whole computer area! 'think he got up on the wrong side of the bed today. My sis caught the spring cleaning bug too and packed her study table. Mom was pleasantly surprised and she was one happy mom today (she even gave up her precious bath time slot just to let me bathe first, without complaining! haha!)
I think housework gives you an endorphin-high. I was finding more things to do after packing so I mopped the floor and cleared and packed my study table (looks like I packed my whole room today). 'Was dancing to Britney Spears' Circus while mopping. And bro gave me his speakers for my ipod, woohoo! Whatever drug he's on, he should take it more often..haha..

Managed to watch The Bounty Hunter and also Ghajini (the Hindi film) last night, the plot for the latter didn't meet expectations, it was quite fragmented, although it was quite hilarious that they can insert their famous dance numbers at any point of the storyline. Ghajini's based on the American film Memento, although it didn't do as well as the American version though. And Guzarish and Kaise Mujhe wasn't featured in any of the song numbers! Disappointed! :(

The American soldiers based in Afghanistan who did the remake of Lady Gaga's Telephone made my day man! Feel quite sad for them though, hope they can go home and be reunited with their families soon.

Love holidays so much but I predict all this excitement will dwindle in a months' time.

endless, random mutterings...mutter,mutter,mutter...

I'm back! :D Not that anyone actually bothers since I think readership for this blog is close to zilch now (the only person I know who's still following would be LY,haha!) Pardon me for my writing skills, the phrasing in this post seems fragmented and odd but the thoughts in my head are flowing so quickly such that it cannot be translated fast enough to be typed out as coherently as I would like it to be.

Anyway, it's the 3-month break again and I will try my very best to make it as meaningful and purposeful, and of course as enjoyable as possible. I've been looking forward to this day for a long time. Workload for this semester is really crazy and if not for God, some of the church people, and not to mention a few noteworthy friends, my sanity level is still intact.

Looking back on exams, I think it was pretty OK and I'm hoping that I can see a few As this time (apologise for all the academic talk again but I'd rather rant and rave all I want here - where (I think)nobody actually reads, than complain incessantly to everyone around me about how tough school is). Sometimes I wonder why do I get so easily stressed up with school and why can't I take it easy for once. Actually, come to think of it, I think I've cut some slack upon entering uni, primarily cos the motivation to study is dwindling.

Anyway, talking about school makes me sick.

Today was great compared to the past few days. I woke up earlier than usual (10am - although still late by the standards of most people) and actually I had a bout of insomnia last night but it was worse - I was very tired but I couldn't sleep - and that's like the worse feeling to me, it's like you're contradicting yourself. Maybe it was due to the effect of the Teh Tarik I had after church,or maybe it's due to the euphoric high of post exams. Nevertheless, today was great, didn't feel as stressed, the pile of books and notes on my table's gone and I got 2 dresses from Far East! :D (although sadly it's formal wear again, it's rare to find nice informal dresses that will catch my eye!)

Will try my bestest to find motivation to look for a job (I need income for travelling!!) I've been forming travel plans in my head since ages ago (to Bangkok, Bali, Australia, even JB) but I have a feeling it might never happen. Arghh...might be a good thing though, more time to expand my reserves and plan for a better trip.

Hmm,not sure if I should say this but I've been having this underlying thought for a month. As much as I've been studying about people and behaviour (with psych and all), the complexities of us humans are just too overwhelming to be captured adequately in a couple of textbooks and studies. Therefore, it's never surprising to find an article investigating a certain behaviour being disputed and contradicted by another finding. We are such a complex and contradictory species. If we were the antithesis of my previous sentence, problems in the world might be lesser (but on second thought, I wonder if the world would be a better place without problems).

The reason which I brought this up was partly cos of the fact that I hate it when some people can be nice at one moment, only to have them judging you in the blink of an eye, especially when you have sorta convinced yourself, defended their case in your head, and rendered them as a "nice person." Don't get me wrong, it's only human nature to judge people (I'm "unconsciously" guilty of that too, sad to say) but I think it's rather disturbing for them to show it explicitly and think that I won't realise what's going through their minds. I may be wrong at times but so far, my intuition has been rather spot-on (which can be bad at times). Sometimes, the problem doesn't even concern them, and I think they have no right to clamp me down with rhetoric on how I should live my life and the choices I make. I will claim responsibility for any mistakes I make (though they might be costly ones), thank you very much for your unnecessary concern. Repress something and it will come back stronger than ever.

And it's quite sad that sometimes these vibes come from the people closest to you, those that you trust will understand why/how you're feeling like that, or behaving this way.

On another note, ever felt like you worked hard for something persistently for years but that effort fails to yield results, or maybe the outcome doesn't match what you expect it to be?

Most of the time, I am more or less satisfied with whatever I get, after reflecting on the amount of effort put in and the actual outcome. I know,deep down,that when I am determined to get something, I would go all out to achieve it and really work my ass off, that's how I am, but it doesn't seem to be happening for this thing in particular and I'm upset (quite an understatement actually).
Anyway, I've been trying to forget it and get back into a normal state of mind, return to the ebb and flow of what should be the life I'm leading but I can't help it and it's pathetic. But to be fair to myself, I think I've made improvement over the years (in terms of self-regulation) and that itself is a feat, considering how emotional I can be. A probable reason why this thing keeps bugging me is cos every time I feel like giving up/actually gave up, it comes back (unknowingly) to reclaim its position again, as if it knows that I have given up on it, staking its royal territory in my mind again. I feel like one of the rats in Skinner's experiments on a random reinforcement schedule man....when will this vicious cycle end?! It's just so frustrating,waiting and guessing...

OK enough for now. Sundown's coming and I have yet to start my jogging regime. Why,why,why did I not learn my lesson and sign up for it again after AHM?!?! 'Been telling myself that I'll do it just to get the shirt,haha!

muse - undisclosed desires - live in singapore

although we had to wait 3 freaking hours for MUSE to finally come onstage (and I hold the organisers responsible for it!), the wait was worth it! you have NO IDEA how awesome it was!! Really had such a great time (we were jumping and shouting and shrieking at the top of my lungs tt i almost pee-ed in my pants! And the memories are still replaying over and over again in my mind! The 148 bucks was so WORTH IT!!!! Absolutely LOVEEEED Matt Bellamy's customised 10k+ guitars (Yes, the guitars he used tt night were modified, and one was a keyboard-cum-guitar!).

So far so good.

Hongkong trip was fun (as I have been harping on about) Wish I could stay in Macau longer though. Where to next? With every travel, comes a new experience and inevitably lessons to be learnt. The next trip will be a better-planned one, in all aspects of the word :D

I'm doing my 6-module stint this sem, comprising of 5 psych mods (Cognitive Psych, Bio Psych, Adolescent Psych, Health Psych and Stats II) and as mentioned before the lit mod, Romanticism. Started my readings earlier compared to last sem in the hopes of being ahead of the lecturer (trust me, it is necessary given my current state and context AND environment). Also cos I wanna be consistent. The fact that I'm taking six modules really leaves me feeling unsettled and despite me being on the ball in terms of preparatory work, I still feel stressed occasionally (ok, another understatement) whenever I think about my workload and my CAP score.

But my spirits were slightly uplifted today when I heard that a friend of mine (who is taking the same course as me in the same school) is in the same predicament as me. Not that I'm rejoicing about the fact that she's not doing well but that she said that the reason why we might not be doing as well as we hoped was partly due to the fact that our course is very highly-subscribed in the faculty and that would influence the bell-shape curve considerably. And in comparison, she did very well for one of her Soci modules when she didn't even study for it as hard as she did for Psych.
Of course, this justification shouldn't give me reason to slack but it sorta ups my self-confidence a lil' (given the downward spiral it seems to be heading due to my academic status). As such, it'll be full steam ahead for me already: gone will be the days when I wake up during lunchtime and I made a promise to myself to cut down on online-time.

Lit lecturer this sem is really nice, very bubbly and chatty. She's really passionate about lit to the extent that she can quote whole lines from Shakespeare's sonnets and that from obscure writers. It's like everything is there at her fingertips! And she's gonna bring us to watch "Bright Star" which is gonna be out in cinemas soon and she's gonna treat us (read: all the students taking this module) to popcorn and drinks, how nice can a lecturer get? XD

Since we're on the topic of lit, I've been thinking about one of the poems by Wordsworth which we did in class recently. Usually, I tend to prefer prose more than poetry, when it comes to lit, cos I feel that I wouldn't really need to second-guess what the protagonists/persona(s) is thinking/feeling but I really liked Wordsworth's choice of words for this particular poem (quite a well-known one actually) and the imagery it conjures.

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.


I like the way he could use simple words to conjure up powerful images and make the ordinary (daffodils) extraordinary, which links to the point about how powerful the mind really is and how perspective really plays a strong role in influencing our subjective response to an object/situation, or even a person. Reading the poem again really makes me feel happy, for some reason..heh heh...


HAVE A GOOD WEEK, FOLKS! :D