I'm back! :D Not that anyone actually bothers since I think readership for this blog is close to zilch now (the only person I know who's still following would be LY,haha!) Pardon me for my writing skills, the phrasing in this post seems fragmented and odd but the thoughts in my head are flowing so quickly such that it cannot be translated fast enough to be typed out as coherently as I would like it to be.
Anyway, it's the 3-month break again and I will try my very best to make it as meaningful and purposeful, and of course as enjoyable as possible. I've been looking forward to this day for a long time. Workload for this semester is really crazy and if not for God, some of the church people, and not to mention a few noteworthy friends, my sanity level is still intact.
Looking back on exams, I think it was pretty OK and I'm hoping that I can see a few As this time (apologise for all the academic talk again but I'd rather rant and rave all I want here - where (I think)nobody actually reads, than complain incessantly to everyone around me about how tough school is). Sometimes I wonder why do I get so easily stressed up with school and why can't I take it easy for once. Actually, come to think of it, I think I've cut some slack upon entering uni, primarily cos the motivation to study is dwindling.
Anyway, talking about school makes me sick.
Today was great compared to the past few days. I woke up earlier than usual (10am - although still late by the standards of most people) and actually I had a bout of insomnia last night but it was worse - I was very tired but I couldn't sleep - and that's like the worse feeling to me, it's like you're contradicting yourself. Maybe it was due to the effect of the Teh Tarik I had after church,or maybe it's due to the euphoric high of post exams. Nevertheless, today was great, didn't feel as stressed, the pile of books and notes on my table's gone and I got 2 dresses from Far East! :D (although sadly it's formal wear again, it's rare to find nice informal dresses that will catch my eye!)
Will try my bestest to find motivation to look for a job (I need income for travelling!!) I've been forming travel plans in my head since ages ago (to Bangkok, Bali, Australia, even JB) but I have a feeling it might never happen. Arghh...might be a good thing though, more time to expand my reserves and plan for a better trip.
Hmm,not sure if I should say this but I've been having this underlying thought for a month. As much as I've been studying about people and behaviour (with psych and all), the complexities of us humans are just too overwhelming to be captured adequately in a couple of textbooks and studies. Therefore, it's never surprising to find an article investigating a certain behaviour being disputed and contradicted by another finding. We are such a complex and contradictory species. If we were the antithesis of my previous sentence, problems in the world might be lesser (but on second thought, I wonder if the world would be a better place without problems).
The reason which I brought this up was partly cos of the fact that I hate it when some people can be nice at one moment, only to have them judging you in the blink of an eye, especially when you have sorta convinced yourself, defended their case in your head, and rendered them as a "nice person." Don't get me wrong, it's only human nature to judge people (I'm "unconsciously" guilty of that too, sad to say) but I think it's rather disturbing for them to show it explicitly and think that I won't realise what's going through their minds. I may be wrong at times but so far, my intuition has been rather spot-on (which can be bad at times). Sometimes, the problem doesn't even concern them, and I think they have no right to clamp me down with rhetoric on how I should live my life and the choices I make. I will claim responsibility for any mistakes I make (though they might be costly ones), thank you very much for your unnecessary concern. Repress something and it will come back stronger than ever.
And it's quite sad that sometimes these vibes come from the people closest to you, those that you trust will understand why/how you're feeling like that, or behaving this way.
On another note, ever felt like you worked hard for something persistently for years but that effort fails to yield results, or maybe the outcome doesn't match what you expect it to be?
Most of the time, I am more or less satisfied with whatever I get, after reflecting on the amount of effort put in and the actual outcome. I know,deep down,that when I am determined to get something, I would go all out to achieve it and really work my ass off, that's how I am, but it doesn't seem to be happening for this thing in particular and I'm upset (quite an understatement actually).
Anyway, I've been trying to forget it and get back into a normal state of mind, return to the ebb and flow of what should be the life I'm leading but I can't help it and it's pathetic. But to be fair to myself, I think I've made improvement over the years (in terms of self-regulation) and that itself is a feat, considering how emotional I can be. A probable reason why this thing keeps bugging me is cos every time I feel like giving up/actually gave up, it comes back (unknowingly) to reclaim its position again, as if it knows that I have given up on it, staking its royal territory in my mind again. I feel like one of the rats in Skinner's experiments on a random reinforcement schedule man....when will this vicious cycle end?! It's just so frustrating,waiting and guessing...
OK enough for now. Sundown's coming and I have yet to start my jogging regime. Why,why,why did I not learn my lesson and sign up for it again after AHM?!?! 'Been telling myself that I'll do it just to get the shirt,haha!
06 February, 2010
muse - undisclosed desires - live in singapore
although we had to wait 3 freaking hours for MUSE to finally come onstage (and I hold the organisers responsible for it!), the wait was worth it! you have NO IDEA how awesome it was!! Really had such a great time (we were jumping and shouting and shrieking at the top of my lungs tt i almost pee-ed in my pants! And the memories are still replaying over and over again in my mind! The 148 bucks was so WORTH IT!!!! Absolutely LOVEEEED Matt Bellamy's customised 10k+ guitars (Yes, the guitars he used tt night were modified, and one was a keyboard-cum-guitar!).
27 January, 2010
So far so good.
Hongkong trip was fun (as I have been harping on about) Wish I could stay in Macau longer though. Where to next? With every travel, comes a new experience and inevitably lessons to be learnt. The next trip will be a better-planned one, in all aspects of the word :D
I'm doing my 6-module stint this sem, comprising of 5 psych mods (Cognitive Psych, Bio Psych, Adolescent Psych, Health Psych and Stats II) and as mentioned before the lit mod, Romanticism. Started my readings earlier compared to last sem in the hopes of being ahead of the lecturer (trust me, it is necessary given my current state and context AND environment). Also cos I wanna be consistent. The fact that I'm taking six modules really leaves me feeling unsettled and despite me being on the ball in terms of preparatory work, I still feel stressed occasionally (ok, another understatement) whenever I think about my workload and my CAP score.
But my spirits were slightly uplifted today when I heard that a friend of mine (who is taking the same course as me in the same school) is in the same predicament as me. Not that I'm rejoicing about the fact that she's not doing well but that she said that the reason why we might not be doing as well as we hoped was partly due to the fact that our course is very highly-subscribed in the faculty and that would influence the bell-shape curve considerably. And in comparison, she did very well for one of her Soci modules when she didn't even study for it as hard as she did for Psych.
Of course, this justification shouldn't give me reason to slack but it sorta ups my self-confidence a lil' (given the downward spiral it seems to be heading due to my academic status). As such, it'll be full steam ahead for me already: gone will be the days when I wake up during lunchtime and I made a promise to myself to cut down on online-time.
Lit lecturer this sem is really nice, very bubbly and chatty. She's really passionate about lit to the extent that she can quote whole lines from Shakespeare's sonnets and that from obscure writers. It's like everything is there at her fingertips! And she's gonna bring us to watch "Bright Star" which is gonna be out in cinemas soon and she's gonna treat us (read: all the students taking this module) to popcorn and drinks, how nice can a lecturer get? XD
Since we're on the topic of lit, I've been thinking about one of the poems by Wordsworth which we did in class recently. Usually, I tend to prefer prose more than poetry, when it comes to lit, cos I feel that I wouldn't really need to second-guess what the protagonists/persona(s) is thinking/feeling but I really liked Wordsworth's choice of words for this particular poem (quite a well-known one actually) and the imagery it conjures.
Hongkong trip was fun (as I have been harping on about) Wish I could stay in Macau longer though. Where to next? With every travel, comes a new experience and inevitably lessons to be learnt. The next trip will be a better-planned one, in all aspects of the word :D
I'm doing my 6-module stint this sem, comprising of 5 psych mods (Cognitive Psych, Bio Psych, Adolescent Psych, Health Psych and Stats II) and as mentioned before the lit mod, Romanticism. Started my readings earlier compared to last sem in the hopes of being ahead of the lecturer (trust me, it is necessary given my current state and context AND environment). Also cos I wanna be consistent. The fact that I'm taking six modules really leaves me feeling unsettled and despite me being on the ball in terms of preparatory work, I still feel stressed occasionally (ok, another understatement) whenever I think about my workload and my CAP score.
But my spirits were slightly uplifted today when I heard that a friend of mine (who is taking the same course as me in the same school) is in the same predicament as me. Not that I'm rejoicing about the fact that she's not doing well but that she said that the reason why we might not be doing as well as we hoped was partly due to the fact that our course is very highly-subscribed in the faculty and that would influence the bell-shape curve considerably. And in comparison, she did very well for one of her Soci modules when she didn't even study for it as hard as she did for Psych.
Of course, this justification shouldn't give me reason to slack but it sorta ups my self-confidence a lil' (given the downward spiral it seems to be heading due to my academic status). As such, it'll be full steam ahead for me already: gone will be the days when I wake up during lunchtime and I made a promise to myself to cut down on online-time.
Lit lecturer this sem is really nice, very bubbly and chatty. She's really passionate about lit to the extent that she can quote whole lines from Shakespeare's sonnets and that from obscure writers. It's like everything is there at her fingertips! And she's gonna bring us to watch "Bright Star" which is gonna be out in cinemas soon and she's gonna treat us (read: all the students taking this module) to popcorn and drinks, how nice can a lecturer get? XD
Since we're on the topic of lit, I've been thinking about one of the poems by Wordsworth which we did in class recently. Usually, I tend to prefer prose more than poetry, when it comes to lit, cos I feel that I wouldn't really need to second-guess what the protagonists/persona(s) is thinking/feeling but I really liked Wordsworth's choice of words for this particular poem (quite a well-known one actually) and the imagery it conjures.
I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
I like the way he could use simple words to conjure up powerful images and make the ordinary (daffodils) extraordinary, which links to the point about how powerful the mind really is and how perspective really plays a strong role in influencing our subjective response to an object/situation, or even a person. Reading the poem again really makes me feel happy, for some reason..heh heh...
HAVE A GOOD WEEK, FOLKS! :D
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
I like the way he could use simple words to conjure up powerful images and make the ordinary (daffodils) extraordinary, which links to the point about how powerful the mind really is and how perspective really plays a strong role in influencing our subjective response to an object/situation, or even a person. Reading the poem again really makes me feel happy, for some reason..heh heh...
HAVE A GOOD WEEK, FOLKS! :D
30 December, 2009
Penultimate day to Year 2010
Christmas is over! Finally, a breather from all the activities and preparations of various sorts. Somehow, the joy of Christmas seems to be diminishing with each passing year as it becomes more commercialised and I certainly hope that its meaning will not, similarly, lose its value.
2009 is drawing to a close! Started reading my past blog entries from January onwards to recall what I've been up to this year cos 2009 has been a year where I would say I have been facing each day as it comes and as such, it has been a blur of events, gatherings and stuff. Some events which happened this year seemed like it happened light years ago!
Anyway, I realised that entries relating to my academic year in 2009 had a common theme with regards to me losing the drive to study. Maybe it's Study Fatigue (after almost 14 years of studying). Other than that, Bidding is (and will continue to be) a recurrent blurb as long as I stay in NUS. Talking about that, bidding started today and I'm quite thankful that I already have 3 modules from MPE: Cognitive Psych, Bio Pysch and Stats II (time to face up to my fears). I'm hoping that I get to do my 6th-module quest this semester, keeping my fingers crossed that "Romanticism" will still have vacancies in Round 3A...
And I'm glad that I sorta achieved my resolution for Year 2009 of keeping fit. Actually, I think I did more than what I thought I would, which is jogging for at least once a week. I've almost made up my mind to join Sundown 2010 in the 21km category, in hopes of improving my timing compared to the Army Half-Marathon but it will mean having to spend at least another 60 bucks, (after burning a deep hole in my pocket due to HK trip, MUSE concert, and a play)...worth it?
Accompanied my grandfather to the Diabetic centre yesterday, didn't expect it to be as long as 5 hours! It's quite painful to see Ye Ye having to take injection after injection, not to mention many blood tests to monitor his blood sugar level (and even more painful to see the expression on his face) while at it. He already has so many medications it looks like we were doing grocery shopping at the pharmacy (and I've not even taken into account the medication he has at home). And I don't really like the patronising tone the nurse uses on Ye Ye, I just hope that they would not take advantage of my grandparents and get more out of them financially just because they are clueless of the proceedings...
On a lighter note, I love Avatar 3D! It proved myself wrong with regards to movies with aliens and blue people but the human-alien interaction at the end was a lil' wrong. It's quite amazing that James Cameron had the vision to recreate another language so many years back, even before LOTR came about. Movie was great as a whole but I felt that the 3D part could do with a little more interaction with the viewers. Watching "The Fourth Kind" next! (Still waiting patiently for "Alice in Wonderland" and "Dorian Gray" to be out).
6 more days to HK trip! Have to start coming up with the travel list and the accompanying hassle that one has to go through before a vacation. I'm happy that the trip is finally materialising as I'm finally able to leave Singapore but it's a downer to realise that once I'm back, school starts in 2 days' time =.=
Anyway, my resolution for Year 2010 is quite simple: to prioritise and manage my time wisely, spend more time with my grandparents and to study hard (and smart), all this to be done according to God's will and direction.
"We don't pray and read the Bible to get a perfect, trouble-free life. Pursuing God is not cause and effect. The pursuit of godliness will not exempt us from trouble (2 Timothy 3:12) . . . [but it] will help us face what comes our way. . ." -ODB
2009 is drawing to a close! Started reading my past blog entries from January onwards to recall what I've been up to this year cos 2009 has been a year where I would say I have been facing each day as it comes and as such, it has been a blur of events, gatherings and stuff. Some events which happened this year seemed like it happened light years ago!
Anyway, I realised that entries relating to my academic year in 2009 had a common theme with regards to me losing the drive to study. Maybe it's Study Fatigue (after almost 14 years of studying). Other than that, Bidding is (and will continue to be) a recurrent blurb as long as I stay in NUS. Talking about that, bidding started today and I'm quite thankful that I already have 3 modules from MPE: Cognitive Psych, Bio Pysch and Stats II (time to face up to my fears). I'm hoping that I get to do my 6th-module quest this semester, keeping my fingers crossed that "Romanticism" will still have vacancies in Round 3A...
And I'm glad that I sorta achieved my resolution for Year 2009 of keeping fit. Actually, I think I did more than what I thought I would, which is jogging for at least once a week. I've almost made up my mind to join Sundown 2010 in the 21km category, in hopes of improving my timing compared to the Army Half-Marathon but it will mean having to spend at least another 60 bucks, (after burning a deep hole in my pocket due to HK trip, MUSE concert, and a play)...worth it?
Accompanied my grandfather to the Diabetic centre yesterday, didn't expect it to be as long as 5 hours! It's quite painful to see Ye Ye having to take injection after injection, not to mention many blood tests to monitor his blood sugar level (and even more painful to see the expression on his face) while at it. He already has so many medications it looks like we were doing grocery shopping at the pharmacy (and I've not even taken into account the medication he has at home). And I don't really like the patronising tone the nurse uses on Ye Ye, I just hope that they would not take advantage of my grandparents and get more out of them financially just because they are clueless of the proceedings...
On a lighter note, I love Avatar 3D! It proved myself wrong with regards to movies with aliens and blue people but the human-alien interaction at the end was a lil' wrong. It's quite amazing that James Cameron had the vision to recreate another language so many years back, even before LOTR came about. Movie was great as a whole but I felt that the 3D part could do with a little more interaction with the viewers. Watching "The Fourth Kind" next! (Still waiting patiently for "Alice in Wonderland" and "Dorian Gray" to be out).
6 more days to HK trip! Have to start coming up with the travel list and the accompanying hassle that one has to go through before a vacation. I'm happy that the trip is finally materialising as I'm finally able to leave Singapore but it's a downer to realise that once I'm back, school starts in 2 days' time =.=
Anyway, my resolution for Year 2010 is quite simple: to prioritise and manage my time wisely, spend more time with my grandparents and to study hard (and smart), all this to be done according to God's will and direction.
"We don't pray and read the Bible to get a perfect, trouble-free life. Pursuing God is not cause and effect. The pursuit of godliness will not exempt us from trouble (2 Timothy 3:12) . . . [but it] will help us face what comes our way. . ." -ODB
22 December, 2009
Punjabi Happy Nickmas
It's that time of the year again, and here's a unique (and refreshing) take on christmas! XD
Happy Holidays everyone! :D
04 December, 2009
all hell breaks loose
YESSSSS!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR A LONG TIME! EXAMS ARE OFFICIALLY OVERRRRR!!!! :D
'Was feeling quite distracted the previous day 'cos the thought of today being the last day of my exams was quite overwhelming. Having said that, I'm quite thankful that today's paper was manageable (partly cos it was an open book) but at least I managed to structure the essay reasonably well, thank God! :D As for the rest of the papers, I'm quite apprehensive about developmental and abnormal psych but I'm just gonna have faith and hope for the best...
Having said that, I'm typing this right now with a newfound ferocity cos it's been awhile since I hit the keys of my laptop due to my self-imposed exile, mainly of going on msn and facebook-the 2 greatest vices so far, even turning on my laptop. Another reason was cos I didn't want to get affected by things which I see online that will lead to a whole flood of irrational, unnecessary emotions, which might affect the exams so...I'll save that for post-exams (which is now- yeah I know,I'm a highly-emotional being at times).
Had steamboat and watched Couples' Retreat with Sarah and Ryan immediately after the paper (we planned for it even before exams started!). Can't wait to carry out my list of post-exam activities, especially since the month of December has finally arrived. Time seriously zooms by like nobody's business. The memory of going over to Yireng's place to knit the Mario costumes is still fresh in my mind! Thinking of that makes me inevitably think about what we're gonna wear for this year's Black & White Christmas and thankfully the costume is easier to assemble, thanks to Virnice! XD
Anyway, the month of December is always a busy one. There are so many things on my mind right now, so many things to do and settle that I think I have to list them down just so I'll not overlook anything, in no order of merit (quite an exhaustive and personal list so skip that if you have to):
1. I have to go Christmas-shopping, think of birthday presents (this will keep me occupied for quite a bit)
2. do the module preference exercise and planning for the bidding for next semester (!!!)
3. visit the grandparents (really have to! They were so excited about their newly-renovated house)
4. resume my running routine, shed off those exam-accummulated love handles (ZY, I'm free already!)
5. meet Cui (very important!)
6. check the specifics for the MUSE concert (can't believe I'm going for it and with LY too!)
7. movies with a few people esp Trina (2012! Those who have watched so far loved it!)
8. striking off items from my personal online movie and booklists (which is quite impossible to achieve in the short span of 1 month)
9. upload photos from camera and phone
10. Is Christmas carolling still on? (hmmm...)
11. mini project still on? (ha ha)
12. almost forgot! Renew passport! Take photo! :S
13. anyone keen to watch Chicago:the musical next year? XD
14. think of a resolution for the HK trip (and fast)
Hmm...frankly speaking, I really hope my excitement of Christmas won't be dampened by all the shopping and present-wrapping and stuff cos all this should not overshadow the fact that it's supposed to be a day for Jesus and for remembering the reason of why Christmas exists in the first place...
On another note, December leads me to ponder about Year 2009 as a whole. In comparison with the previous year, I'm very sure that this year was a more exciting, memorable and spontaneous one: tried quite a few things which I would not have normally done, challenged myself to go all out and overcome my fears, re-prioritised stuff, changing my modus operandi especially in the area of academics (partly due to me putting my trust in God and not worrying excessively), the works...As such, it seems like a year of self-discovery, about knowing exactly my strengths and weaknesses and coming to terms with certain stuff about myself. Of course, this is a neverending process but I have to say that certain stuff became clearer and better evaluated this year.
Nevertheless, it was also bittersweet: like what Salman Rushdie mentioned in Midnight's Children, with every ladder there's a snake.With every gain there is a loss and so it comes as no surprise that by knowing and being involved with more people, there will be more problems(not to mention the hurts that are attached to them). I'm not saying that people are a pain in the butt, neither am I appealing for your sympathy. I think this will inevitably be something which everyone will experience at a point in their lives, just that it has become more apparent to me lately (took me this long to realise yeah). Having said that, the gains more than made up for the losses (probably a reason why the disappointment hit hard big time cos they were people dear to me). Then again, I have to be fair to the small but close group of friends who supported me at the right moments and who understood my take on things, and for not judging me based on them (something which I HIGHLY regard cos it's not an easy feat).
Think I've said more than I intended. Anyway, in summary, Year 2009 has revealed many issues about people and how complex people can be to the point that certain cases are still an enigma to me now that I think about them (sheesh, seems like I'm reading my life like a lit book now. I've gotta stop.
Enjoy the remaining 29 days, people!
'Was feeling quite distracted the previous day 'cos the thought of today being the last day of my exams was quite overwhelming. Having said that, I'm quite thankful that today's paper was manageable (partly cos it was an open book) but at least I managed to structure the essay reasonably well, thank God! :D As for the rest of the papers, I'm quite apprehensive about developmental and abnormal psych but I'm just gonna have faith and hope for the best...
Having said that, I'm typing this right now with a newfound ferocity cos it's been awhile since I hit the keys of my laptop due to my self-imposed exile, mainly of going on msn and facebook-the 2 greatest vices so far, even turning on my laptop. Another reason was cos I didn't want to get affected by things which I see online that will lead to a whole flood of irrational, unnecessary emotions, which might affect the exams so...I'll save that for post-exams (which is now- yeah I know,I'm a highly-emotional being at times).
Had steamboat and watched Couples' Retreat with Sarah and Ryan immediately after the paper (we planned for it even before exams started!). Can't wait to carry out my list of post-exam activities, especially since the month of December has finally arrived. Time seriously zooms by like nobody's business. The memory of going over to Yireng's place to knit the Mario costumes is still fresh in my mind! Thinking of that makes me inevitably think about what we're gonna wear for this year's Black & White Christmas and thankfully the costume is easier to assemble, thanks to Virnice! XD
Anyway, the month of December is always a busy one. There are so many things on my mind right now, so many things to do and settle that I think I have to list them down just so I'll not overlook anything, in no order of merit (quite an exhaustive and personal list so skip that if you have to):
1. I have to go Christmas-shopping, think of birthday presents (this will keep me occupied for quite a bit)
2. do the module preference exercise and planning for the bidding for next semester (!!!)
3. visit the grandparents (really have to! They were so excited about their newly-renovated house)
4. resume my running routine, shed off those exam-accummulated love handles (ZY, I'm free already!)
5. meet Cui (very important!)
6. check the specifics for the MUSE concert (can't believe I'm going for it and with LY too!)
7. movies with a few people esp Trina (2012! Those who have watched so far loved it!)
8. striking off items from my personal online movie and booklists (which is quite impossible to achieve in the short span of 1 month)
9. upload photos from camera and phone
10. Is Christmas carolling still on? (hmmm...)
11. mini project still on? (ha ha)
12. almost forgot! Renew passport! Take photo! :S
13. anyone keen to watch Chicago:the musical next year? XD
14. think of a resolution for the HK trip (and fast)
Hmm...frankly speaking, I really hope my excitement of Christmas won't be dampened by all the shopping and present-wrapping and stuff cos all this should not overshadow the fact that it's supposed to be a day for Jesus and for remembering the reason of why Christmas exists in the first place...
On another note, December leads me to ponder about Year 2009 as a whole. In comparison with the previous year, I'm very sure that this year was a more exciting, memorable and spontaneous one: tried quite a few things which I would not have normally done, challenged myself to go all out and overcome my fears, re-prioritised stuff, changing my modus operandi especially in the area of academics (partly due to me putting my trust in God and not worrying excessively), the works...As such, it seems like a year of self-discovery, about knowing exactly my strengths and weaknesses and coming to terms with certain stuff about myself. Of course, this is a neverending process but I have to say that certain stuff became clearer and better evaluated this year.
Nevertheless, it was also bittersweet: like what Salman Rushdie mentioned in Midnight's Children, with every ladder there's a snake.With every gain there is a loss and so it comes as no surprise that by knowing and being involved with more people, there will be more problems(not to mention the hurts that are attached to them). I'm not saying that people are a pain in the butt, neither am I appealing for your sympathy. I think this will inevitably be something which everyone will experience at a point in their lives, just that it has become more apparent to me lately (took me this long to realise yeah). Having said that, the gains more than made up for the losses (probably a reason why the disappointment hit hard big time cos they were people dear to me). Then again, I have to be fair to the small but close group of friends who supported me at the right moments and who understood my take on things, and for not judging me based on them (something which I HIGHLY regard cos it's not an easy feat).
Think I've said more than I intended. Anyway, in summary, Year 2009 has revealed many issues about people and how complex people can be to the point that certain cases are still an enigma to me now that I think about them (sheesh, seems like I'm reading my life like a lit book now. I've gotta stop.
Enjoy the remaining 29 days, people!
14 November, 2009
" Remember those earlier days after you have received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution;at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. You sympathised with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions.
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised . . . we are not those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved. "
[Hebrews 10:32-39]
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised . . . we are not those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved. "
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