The Beatitudes of Upside-Down Spirituality

 Just finished reading the book Upside-Down Spirituality: The 9 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life by Chad Bird to complete my week-long break readings. It was a good reminder for me, in terms of how I should view myself, my calling, and how I relate with the body of believers.

This is taken from the epilogue of the book:

The Beatitudes of Upside-Down Spirituality

Blessed are those who fail to believe in themselves, who fail to believe that God believes in them, for they shall find in Jesus only everything their heart desires.

Blessed are those who don't make a name for themselves but rejoice that their names are written in the Lamb's book of life.

Blessed are those who don't follow their hearts, for they follow the Lamb wherever He goes.

Blessed are those who fail at being supermoms and superdads, for they are forgiven children of our Father in heaven.

Blessed are those who fail to find their calling, for theirs is the kingdom where life and love and service find them.

Blessed are those who fail at finding anyone in this world who completes them and who fail at sustaining their marriages by love alone but are completed and perfected in Christ, and whose marriages are sustained by the gift of Jesus and His limitless love.

Blessed are those who fail to conform to this world yet also fail to cut themselves off from it, for they know their true citizenship is in Jerusalem above.

Blessed are those who fail to have a personal relationship with Jesus but who find their life in the community of believers that is the body of Jesus Himself.

Blessed are those who fail to believe that bigger is better and who discover contentment and joy in the little message that floods the whole world with peace: Jesus Christ, crucified and risen, for us.

Good Friday

 I am writing this after completing The Book of Joy, written by Douglas Abrams, which describes the 5-day long meeting between Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama in Dharamsala, India where the latter has been staying in his more than 5 decades of exile from Tibet.

I am just so content, complete, and full. To be able to write this, not as a task or as work, is itself a joyful thing to do as I would usually only use my laptop for work-related purposes. Today is the 5th day of my week-long break. I am content with how it went. I had 2 slices of Awfully Choc Praline cake today from the whole cake that hun bought for me 2 days back. I had the time to plan my finances properly, listen to podcasts that I have wanted to listen to, read reflective/inspirational books, and also completed watching all my CNA documentaries and whatever Youtube videos that have been on my to-watch list. I had time to Gemini "frivolous" things, explore and cook different recipes, teas etc, take naps as and when I want to, attend to low-priority household chores, and also completed my 2 Psychotherapy Networker magazines! I feel so accomplished and full!

I have decided to carve out a week-long break from work on a quarterly basis every year to be able to rest and recharge, whether or not I will be staying put in SG or abroad. Given my recent hives outbreak, of which I have finally recovered fully from today (after completing a course of steroids), I want to really pay more attention and listen to my body instead of it having to shout very loudly for my attention and call for a major STOP through hives and such. Even Clyde and hun noticed my lack of vitality, evident through low energy and disconnectedness in the past mth. It was also affecting my memory, my ability to process info, and to hold emotional space and presence with others, of which hun was the most deeply affected. I felt that I did not have the bandwidth to listen to his sharing about his latest discoveries about AI, tech, investments, many of which can be dry and technical to me. 

As my break is drawing to a close, I wanted to note down what I learnt from The Book of Joy conceptually (some of which are not new to me) and experientially.

I discovered that I could give myself permission to enjoy simple (ok quite expensive actually) joys of choc cake and not have to wait for special occasions to reward myself. I also found myself in a more joyful, ?contented state when I decided to share the joy with Keong and Fel, both of them being huge choc and cake lovers themselves, and made an impromptu trip to their place to gift them my precious choc cake. I enjoyed the night walk to their house and also the pleasure of catching up with Fel on what has been happening to her, something which I would have missed out on if I had not decided to do this spontaneously. I liked that we were just unabashedly ourselves; I stayed as long/short as I wanted to, without disturbing her of course, and we affirmed and encouraged each other. Simple but such a full experience of joy for me. I also realised that the next day was Keong's birthday, so my cake gifting was so timely!

I learnt to accept and acknowledge emotions that I am not pleased to have/hold/express. I was frustrated that hun did not want to see the GP and wanted to purge out his bacterial/viral stomach infection after 5 days of purging, which caused a change of plans to visit Marie and baby Matthias today. This visit has been painstaking to arrange and coordinate, to say the least, with frequent changes in dates, times, and venues. Ultimately, I was frustrated that things could not go as planned and was caused by hun's "stubbornness." But it was something that I had to really reflect on; not to add additional layers of frustration to the already existing situation and criticise myself further but to just accept the situation for what it is, and the choice and responsibility that hun has, as an adult, to care for himself. I could also put into practice immediately what I learnt from the book: to be grateful that hun and I are recovering from our respective illnesses, to show compassion to him for his pain, and to find joy by caring for him during this time (the morning walk to getting our porridge breakfast was very warm but still a nice time for myself). I also recall how kind and patient hun has been to me whenever I was ill; the many meal trips he would make and doctor visits he would accompany me to without complaining. I am blessed. 

Back to the book: I really liked the friendship dynamic between the Archbishop (who is now deceased) and the Dalai Lama; playful, genuine, humble, and full of respect and admiration for one another. They are good examples of modelling how I can be with others. No pride, conceit, or power play evident. They also taught about taking perspective and practising forgiveness, on top of the recurring refrain throughout the book: that through it all, we are all human beings, one and the same and we are wired for love, connection, and interdependence. It is ironical for us to pursue joy for the sake of it but in bringing joy to others, we receive joy as a by-product. Joy and sorrow exist on the same plane. And how apt for me to be reflecting on this day, Good Friday, where Christ died and took our sins and sorrows on the cross for us but in that, we can be reconciled to Him, our greatest Joy-giver. God is Love!

I would also like to tie this in to what really resonated for me after seeing one of Aiken Chia's IG posts today about being both elder and younger brother (in ref to the Prodigal Son parable); how both parts of me exist and how Christ died to redeem all these parts of me. I used to only identify with either-or when in actuality, I can be both. He set us free from our external prisons (our circumstances) and internal prisons (the constructs we have of our lives and how we make meaning of it). 

Regarding the latter prison, I have in mind what T-bag from Prison Break quoted: "We are captives of our own identities, living in prisons of our own creation." Such a powerful statement; in choosing to view my life from a certain perspective, I respond in a certain way. I see that struggle in T-bag's character throughout all 5 seasons of Prison Break, and how (thankfully) he had his redemptive arc in the end. He is my favourite character in the show; such a layered character that we can relate to.

I'm praying that I can carry this attitude with me next week onwards when I start work again. I have to admit that this break has not been easy also because I notice moments when I would go back to feeling anxious when work-related thoughts entered my mind. I remember what Clyde said; that it is normal and expected, and try to just notice them as thoughts, to gently let them know that I am on break now and I will attend to them next week. It works and it does not work, the latter because it is a moment-by-moment endeavour, which I have to intentionally practise as and when these thoughts come up. But centering myself on the fact that I am not alone in this wrestle; that there are others out there experiencing the same, if not worse, than what I am going through, centers me (I know it can sound like me rationalising or minimising my experiences but I am focusing more on the common humanity aspects here).

For now, I am looking forward to what the remaining rest days have for me, the most immediate being thinking of the next book I want to read, which video from Chef Anh Sung Jae's Youtube channel I want to watch, and spending time with hun and "our boys" :)

This Be My CNY

This Be The Verse (Philip Larkin)

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.   
   They may not mean to, but they do.   
They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
    By fools in old-style hats and coats,   
Who half the time were soppy-stern
    And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
    And don’t have any kids yourself.

I was watching Ted Lasso (awesome show!) when the character Mae recites this poem to Ted, which helpd him decide on his priorities. This is as real and direct a take on generational trauma as it can get, and although the ending is extreme, it is the only definitive way (I'm aware that our generation can be the cycle-breakers, go for therapy, practise gentle parenting etc but can you guarantee that no trauma will be passed down at all?)

Anyway, this is just my hot take. Maybe I'm just resentful with the adults in my family for not reflecting on their past and current behaviour. Maybe I've seen enough at home and work to come to this conclusion. 

Between Decembers

 I decided to use AI to compose a poem in the style of Taylor Swift's Folklore and Evermore albums about my New Year's Eve (2025) and New Year's Day (2026). I thought it was so fitting to use styles from both albums, considering they were sister albums with themes about yearning and moving forward respectively

Between Decembers

The morning hums with psalms and laundry spins,

light spills soft through the blinds, forgiving.

I mark slow verses in my Bible’s spine,

green tea cooling beside intention.

Between folded shirts and unread texts,

I answer the ache of my clients with care —

words stitched like quiet prayers

to lives gently mending on the other end.

By dusk, the year exhales its final breath.

I read about a girl who turned sorrow to song,

how she built worlds out of heartbreak’s dust.

So I build orchids in miniature beside you,

each petal unfolding like grace in plastic bloom.

When the clock sighs into midnight air,

you kiss me — and the world resets,

a hush between seconds where nothing hurts,

where time forgets itself for a heartbeat.

\

The dawn feels older than it should.

Her melodies ghost through the room,

lyrics threading into the spaces

where my own words used to live.

We drift through plates of sushi and aisles of laughter,

grocery bags brushing against each other, grounding me home.

Later, we piece together my practice’s web —

work and love folded into the same code.

Still, I wonder about the poems I didn’t write,

the canvases left unopened.

Therapy takes my hours, not my spirit,

yet leaves my art standing at the edge, waiting.

Saturday lingers on the horizon —

a mix of dread and gentle promise.

And when I see the girls for dinner,

perhaps someone will glow with news

too beautiful to say aloud just yet —

like spring beginning quietly, inside the cold.

And somewhere in the stillness before midnight,

I catch the rhythm of my ordinary —

turn the year’s pages like verses in tune,

smiling at the thought

that I’ve begun writing my life

the way Taylor would write a song.

Welcome to the endemic era!

 Hello world!

Getting back here 2 years later. I was sort of forced to come back here after Dayre failed me (still waiting for them to rectify my user access before I can type musings/reflections/inspirations on a daily basis but I guess this will do for now). 

Sitting here on a cool, overcast day at my dining table reading through past entries evoked a nostalgic, bittersweet feeling of how much has happened and of where I am now. At this point of time in my life, I am currently into my 4th week of break after quitting UCS on 31 Jul. I'm currently waiting to sign my contract and start life in private practice - another exciting but also nerve-wrecking phase. My time in UCS, although short-lived, was something that I don't regret (having such supportive colleagues, almost like my time in UCS, being exposed to the student population and new ways of working through and processing their experiences, my portfolio work - where I really had to definitively work on my weaknesses, bringing in Jude and Val on the team, the reorganisation that took place and Agnes' resignation)..all these seemed like memories of a distant past, now that I have been spending a lot of me time in the 4 walls of my home. 

In the beginning stages of my month-long break, I did wonder if I did the right thing to tender so quickly; suddenly I had all this free time to myself where I could do anything I want yet also finding that I'm not sure what to do with all this freedom. I also (surprisingly) felt isolated - from seeing 4 clients a day and going for lunch breaks (and cafe/museum visits) within campus with my colleagues to not talking to anyone throughout the day and eagerly anticipating hun to return home and to spend time with me. Don't get me wrong, I would still rather have this break than continue feeling empty and miserable working, I think I just needed to recalibrate my bearings and restructure my routine. 

Looking back at how I spent the past few weeks: after recovering from Covid,  I got to meet the Nettes, met Waltmanda for Rise buffet (to celebrate Bae and me officially ending work on the same date), met my future colleagues, met Rhyss and Steph (after 2 years!), lunched with Winston and got to see his office in Orchard (his sandplay figurine collection is astounding!), KTV-ed with Lou, met Dixon and gang (also after 2 years), visited the Google office with the Nettes, brunched with Jude. I also got to tie up loose errands (settling Dad's affairs, more on that later), whipped up meals that I've been wanting to do, did some housework, binge-watched The Rain and spent copious amounts of time on Youtube, not to mention finding our Air B&B accom for Copenhagen for the nth time(!). 

In the remaining 2-3 weeks to come, I'm slated to facilitate ukulele sessions at my alma mater (SHSS) with Lynz, meeting the God's chatroom peeps and Cui, celebrate my birthday, meet Aunty Linda and Uncle KC and attend Lynz and Shane's gender reveal party. 

Tbh, I've been struggling with the fact that I've not been as productive as I want to be during this break but am reminded by my friends to be kind to myself as I've been functioning at a fast pace, only to be slowing down at this point. I want to set my daily routine right, to rekindle my interests/passions (writing), to settle and prepare transiting to my new role as a therapist well, but find myself procrastinating. 

For one, my major hurdle continues to be my sleeping patterns/preferences. I've been sleeping late and waking late. Ever since I was C+, or maybe even before that, my resolve to wake up at 6am to run before I head to work had slowly fizzled and came to a halt and I'm finding it challenging to get back to it again. I tried to overcome it by heading outdoors last week. I visited Tampines Library (the "new" one) at OTH and felt good wandering amongst the shelves. I borrowed a physical book and an e-book and was proud of myself for doing that (and learning to do that). I also bumped into moom at NTUC when I was grocery-shopping after that and it felt so nice to be able to spend time marketing with her, going to her place and trading groceries after that, before cooking dinner for hun and myself after. I guess I sort of got into the groove a little.

I'm aware that I'm slowly moving into creating that productive routine that I wanted for myself. I managed to wake up at 10am today, I tidied my study area yesterday, and I finally got down to writing again! Small wins ◡̈ Reading James Clear's Atomic Habits book gave me that extra incentive to start small. I resonate with his concepts of being 1% better everyday and it compounding to bigger effects in the future. The part that I'm struggling with would be figuring out my identity in order to effect a systems change and ultimately, achieve my goals. I have so many identities I want to be: a writer, an athlete, an excellent therapist, a practising Christian that can really be an impact to people around me, a good wife/daughter/sister and eventually a good mother but where do I start?

I shall continue to ponder on this while I move on to talking about Dad's death. 

Death. Such a hard word to utter vs passing away or demise. But I've been intentionally saying that to help me come to terms with losing Dad. It gets easier as the days passed, after navigating all the other emotions that were initially there, that I unexpectedly had to go through - anger, pain, disappointment, numbness, sadness. Also, the traumatic things that my family and I had to go through post-death (i.e. the whole hullabaloo with the ash-scattering). Occasionally, I would be jolted to reality that he's not here with us anymore for eg when I quit my job and was excited about moving into private practice and I wanted to tell him but realised that he's not there, moments like this will get to me. Moom, maib and bro seemed to be doing ok but are they really ok? I'll never know their private thoughts, the moments they share grieving alone in their own ways. Ever since we lost Dad, Gonggong and Mama, all within the span of 3 mths, I've been having a sort of death anxiety; like a sudden keen awareness of my mortality and that I'll die soon. This was especially perpetuated when I was recovering from Covid and the cough was having an effect on my heart and lungs. I was hesitant to tell hun as I felt that by verbalising it, it might become reality but eventually I did but not at the right time - we were preparing to go to sleep. 

Anyway, we shall see how things pan out...

Late recap on the decade 2010-2020 + To new beginnings!

Hello virtual world!

Dusting off the cobwebs growing on this rusty old webpage of mine. What led me back here after 3 years you say? Well, in light of the COVID-19 pandemic, and the recent circuit-breaking measures which the SG govt has put in place since last Fri, majority of us Singaporeans are WFH now (Work From Home, a term seldom heard of prior to the pandemic). 

Unlike a lot of my friends out there, I enjoy being at home doing my things and I thought of making the most of my extra time at home to upgrade myself and to do more introspection and reflection so, what better way to clear my head and process my thoughts than to come back here!

I've been meaning to do a post on my comings and goings in the past decade and I've managed to do it but on my phone so, here's to setting it in stone.

Things to be thankful for over the decade:

1. Met my then-boyfriend-now-husband, dated, got engaged and married
2. Got our own house and learnt how it was like to host parties and gatherings
3. Went for 2 honeymoons (Japan and Melbourne)
4. Got my driver’s license
5. Got my Masters
6. Got my registration as a psychologist and completed a Clinical Supervision course
7. Started my first job in SCC, learnt so much from clients, colleagues, supervisors about mental health, got exposed to many work streams and got to know colleagues from other centres better. Tendered my resignation at the end of this decade
8. Joined Lighthouse around mid-decade, blessed to join a cell 2-3 years later and met wonderful friends who are like family to us
9. Honoured to be bridesmaid to my friends who got married (Ai Ping, Fel, Jude, Bae, Reena, Cui, Mel) and organised hens’ parties
10. Rejoiced over bro going back to church 
11. Joined a life-threatening race without training (Spartan)
12. Went abroad with friends
13. Started my culinary journey with Thermomix 

Looking back, I see all these stepping stones leading me to grow and evolve personally and professionally, and I am grateful for all these opportunities. 

Today also marks my one month working in NUS. As we are on split-teams mode as part of our BCP (Business Continuity Plan - there, another acronym for you), I am unable to meet some of my colleagues but so far, my boss and colleagues whom I have encountered have been very inclusive and welcoming, and I am very thankful for the structure and processes they have in place. Most importantly, how much importance they place on ethical, client-centred practice. The work is hard and the learning curve steep but the team is helpful and supportive. 

I am also blessed to have known my roomie Alva (unlike the rest who have their own rooms, Alva, myself, and a few others are located in the "newbie wing"). Like me, she is a Christian and, unbeknownst to her, she became my accountability partner for my spiritual growth. She would continually ask me what my takeaways were from my quiet time that day and we would also pray together occasionally at the start of the workday. She has also been open about her experiences and her life stories (going to Bulgaria for missions etc) have been encouraging testimonies, spurring me on to learn to surrender my life to God's hands.

Besides that, I am also quite happy to inform that today, I made a decision to volunteer as a counsellor with Steph's company to provide tele-counselling support for migrant workers in SG. It might seem like a trivial decision to some but a significant one for me as I have always battled with going the extra mile for people beyond my reach (ashamed to say that). I have always had a burden to do something for this often-overlooked population but have not acted on it as I am unsure how to go about doing it, when I should start, and to be honest, lazy to step up and find out more on how I can avail myself. So, when the opportunity presented itself and I was finally confronted with it again, I decided that this is it! Now's the time! 

I guess what inspired me and jolted me back to the reality of living a Christ-centred life came, surprisingly, from my cell group mate Joel. Recently, he partnered with me to reach out to my Dad to share the gospel and the reason, he told me, why he is doing this is because he felt that he, like Jonah in the Bible, has been running away from God's calling in his life to go the extra mile to share the gospel with others. Recently, the conviction hit him hard and so he decided to live out James 2:14-17: Faith without works is dead (in short). So, on 28th March 2020, he led Dad to say the sinners' prayer, gave Dad a Bible, and suggested for Dad to read the first 2 chapters of John, after which he will follow up with him on it. PTL!

Moral of the story: Never let age stop you from doing God's work, no matter how much the odds are stacked against your favour. If Joel, at the tender age of 24 - he's the baby of the cell) could reach out to my 63-year old, logical, I-need-to-see-proof-as-evidence-that-God-exists Dad, what excuse do I have now?

Wow. Things escalated quickly eh?

Anyway, if you are mildly interested, more updates akan datang!

been thinking about. . .Friendship

Friendship. Its definition varies with one's developmental phase, values, beliefs, worldview, as well as the extent of one's maturity.

In the early primary school years, friendship might simply be just a matter of "I friend/don't friend you" or the tykes you play with, go to the tuckshop with, the one who shielded the big bully away from you, or simply the one sitting beside you in class. In the teenage/adolescent years, it might signify hanging out with people who identify with you in terms of interests, hobbies, and/or maybe even values/principles; someone with "the same frequency" as you, so to speak. It might be the time where you put your own social skills to the test and suss out your identity amidst the period of "storm and stress."
As one gets older, friendship becomes more complicated and I never imagined that it would reach that stage in life where one would inevitably have to prioritise spending time with a select group of friends. At this point, one would be moving into more intimate relationships, settling down with family life or career or pursuing choices/dreams that they have always been wanting to go after, running after that 'bucket list' so as not to regret later on in life. Hence, by hook or by crook, the young adult (now with a more mature and distinct identity of their own, hopefully) would have to face the task of digging deeper and enhancing relationships with that inner circle of his/hers.

Settling and deciding on this inner circle is a never-ending journey in itself. Some friends would naturally be 'in' but some would slowly 'dawn' their way into that glorious circle ('dawn' , in terms of realising that some friends have been there with you all along and you fail to cherish them and their efforts in reaching out to you until much later). This process would differ from individual to individual, and probably vary in gender as well after observing the different relational dynamics of both sexes. Some might even not bother with all the 'hassle' of making more friends and choose to be alone due to former traumatic interpersonal experiences (which I hope wouldn't happen to me cos we're made to be social beings and in so many ways, it drives who we are, and is biblically tied in with God's Great Commission to us Christ-followers (i.e. Imagine how the Great Commission would sound like if there weren't a social aspect to it: Go forth and make disciples of no one, baptising no one . . .and teaching no one to obey everything I have commanded you. . ." Look up Matthew for the real Great Commission)

Ok, so why bother with all this psychological-jargon-like talk on friendship?

This whole pep talk above came about when I was thinking about what entails true/genuine friendship and how the stage was set for friendships to occur and develop. This whole friendship talk/analysis is also the product of reflections of recent interpersonal events that occurred. My conclusions so far:

1. Genuine friendships are the kind that builds you up. I always like to give AP the analogy that true friends make you feel like you've just eaten salad cos it leaves you with a refreshed vibe, but bad eggs will leave you feeling like you just ingested junk food; good at first bite but bloated and uncomfortable after, maybe nauseated (something like "once on your lips, forever on your hips" kinda aftertaste).

2. Genuine friendships makes you feel safe and accepted, flaws and all. It is honest and not pre-packaged as all good. It is definitely not hypocritical and gossipy and at times, hard and painful truths are communicated to show love and concern, and as part of building the other up. It allows space and patience for each other to come to our senses and mature. It doesn't run away and hide when the going gets tough. AP and I always like to reflect on how much we've grown and changed but yet, essentially there's this "old self" in us (i.e. quirks, idiosyncrasies that will always be there). Sure, there will be some turbulence along the way; some hurts and disappointments, but if you're bent on making it work, these 'minor troubles' will be worth it in the long haul, which leads to my next point...

3. Genuine friendships are mutual and intentional. Actually, all the points are kinda related. If you want an open, honest and congruent friendship, you have to be prepared to be vulnerable in the sense that you gotta confide and trust that your friend will not judge your flaws, insecurities and whatnot in order to grow. This is also an area in which Chris has inspired me to improve: to initiate instead of waiting for the other party to do so (i.e. whatsapp so-and-so first instead of waiting for him/her to do so cos what if the other party is thinking the same thing as me and waiting for me to initiate?) Sometimes I don't initiate lest the person does not reply me, or thinks I'm kaypo to keep asking about their day/problem, or for fear that I'll be deemed as being bo liao and giving the impression that "I have no friends so I come find and talk to you" but I'm gradually realising that it's not true. Of course, all this initiating is not without its down moments and disappointments but I've since been telling myself that at least I've given it a shot and won't regret in the future. So 潇洒 right? xD

4. Genuine friendship is not constrained by time and space. And boy did I realise that within these few years. You see, my friends are the free-spirited, globe-trotting, itchy-backside, cannot-sit-still type. So they are basically all over the place in different countries and continents. Initially, I had this underlying fear that once they're out of Spore, we wouldn't be as close as before but I was wrong. This, again goes back to friendship selection, and mutual intentionality.  And when we happen to meet face-to-face again, it'll be just like old times and the conversation flows as usual (which might mean never-ending at times).

I guess in this whole friendship business, it's vital that you know who you are and where you stand in order not to let friendship come and bite you back in the ass. What I mean is that besides the nice, warm side of genuine friendships, there's also the other part that you have to deal with: discarding the bad eggs (no offense to my bluntness). This is a grey area and not all might agree to my perspective of ending a friendship but I've seen people of all sorts in my workplace (i.e. clients and staff alike) to know where the limits of friendship are. You can't help but feel this way when you see the ugly side of lies, manipulations, word-twisting and back-biting (Disclaimer: not everyone in my workplace are like that, I'm just giving you a balanced view). 
Ending friendships might seem ugly but might be necessary for the benefit of yourself and the bad egg in question. Of course I'm not suggesting that you go on some Rambo-like, friendship-ending rampage without a sound rationale, that would be really stupid. 
Recently, I inevitably had to reach this stage of thinking, reflecting and pondering if it was time for me to cease an emotionally draining friendship. It wasn't an easy decision to reach; I prayed, consulted with my close good friends and had a good talk with a mutual friend that might potentially be in the same boat as me. Although no explicit actions have been taken to sever the friendship, I'm satisfied that I've reached a position I'm comfortable being in for the moment (some real shit might happen later, who knows). In fact, I realised that the mutual friend has also been feeling the same way as I do about said friend but both of us did not know of the other's similar 'sufferings' and have been suffering in silence. This incident also highlighted, once again friends whom I can depend on and who are, indeed gems that continue to stick it out with me. 

And so, I'm so thankful for you: AP, Yee, Cui, Dhab, Jude, Esther, Alan, Duc, Wenyi, BB, MH, Preston, Waltmanda, Louisboy, Yeows, Panic Partner, 面包 超人, LY and of course, Chris.  You all mean the world to me.
(Another disclaimer: these are just some of the key people, there are many others that I didn't mention but yet are equally dear to me).


Leaving you with 1 Corinthians 13: 4-13 with regards to my ultimate thoughts on friendship. . .