28th March 2013, Thursday, 10.45pm, My room

I was reading a book about spiritual leadership and they were reiterating on the importance of prayer in a leader's life; that it was supposed to be a priority despite a leader's busy schedule (a top priority instead of a last resort). I decided to devote my time to pray, having been praying on-the-go for many months now, usually in the mornings on my way to work. Prayed for my work (wisdom and direction, and that everything i do, act, think will be in line with God's will and for the welfare of the clients). Also prayed for hun; that he will be able to study hard, study smart, manage his time well during this period,etc. Prayed for family, friends and colleagues as well. It was a simple, short prayer. Just like any other prayer on an ordinary day.

I was proven wrong.

Went back to reading after the prayer when suddenly, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit flooding me. I stopped reading. I had the sudden urge to just spend the next few moments to thank and praise God; I didn't know the source in which this sudden compulsion came about but I just yielded to it. I started thanking the Holy Spirit for guiding me and being my helper for the past few years. I just kept thanking Him. Although I didn't literally hear Him speak, I could feel Him working in me in indescribable ways and I was so touched by His presence that I teared involuntarily. All I could do was to just keep thanking and worshipping Him. All this which happened in my room on a quiet weekday night!

At that time, I wasn't even reading a particularly insightful sentence in the book when the presence of the Holy Spirit came about. I've never felt like this before; the feeling of having the urge to stop whatever I was doing and just thank and praise God. In fact, as far as i could remember, my prayers mostly contained requests more than adoration and thanksgiving. If I had to describe what happened tonight, it felt like God was "downloading" His wisdom and insights into me but you don't specifically know what insights. It's like looking at the computer icon which says "downloading in progress, how many minutes left" when it's downloading stuff. 

Prayer is indeed a powerful means of connecting to God. Although I was tired in body, I could sense my inner being rejuvenated after this experience. Now I finally understand what it feels like when they say that the Holy Spirit touches you in indescribable ways and how to just be still and know that He is God. All these without words being uttered but just Being. To get away from all means of distraction and just dwell in His presence.

What a powerful and rejuvenating end to what was initially an uneventful night of reading and unwinding!

Brand new start to 2013 :)

An empowering song by Pink! Brilliant modern contemporary dance that expresses such raw emotion, coupled with awesome cinematography :)

Recently at work, our supervisor posed us 10 questions during our group therapy session, after which we were to reveal to the group our responses. the 10 questions were identical ("Who Am I?") and we got exasperated and running out of steam after awhile as we struggled to provide our responses but these are mine (mostly written out of response to my current position in general):

1. I am a person who thinks better than I talk and hopes to be understood
2. I am more introverted and need more personal space than you think
3. I am emotional and need a break from hearing sad stories at this point of time
4. I am a romantic at heart and am very loyal and loving
5. I am expressive and might flourish in theatre if I tried
6. I am always thinking of the welfare of others in general, often at the expense of myself
7. I am easily touched by the honesty and genuine-ness of people
8. I am blessed to be who I am and where I am now
9. I am a person who hopes to develop more in terms of knowing God
10. I am a person who needs to learn to say "No" more often

Perhaps some of the above may come as surprises to you and you might disagree but this was what I felt/am feeling at the moment. One thing that work has taught me is to be open and honest with myself and to accept myself for who I am despite of what others might think of me.

16 more days before I hit the one-year mark of working in the corporate world.

I have to say that it has indeed shaped my way of thinking and viewing people and Life, in general. It has also made me examine and reflect upon myself (my identity as an individual, and the values, beliefs and traits that I possess) as I work with the members. I have also learnt that self-care is essential to maintaining one's sanity regardless of one's vocation (Helping yourself before helping others).

Besides that, I have always felt that I have learnt so much from my members that I seem to be benefitting more from my relationships with them than they benefit from me! They have taught me appreciate the simple things in life and their honesty and transparency (though brutal and hurtful at times) is a breath of fresh air from the superficiality and facades that one will inevitably encounter in one's life.

Despite the fact that I'm thankful and glad that I find meaning in the work that I do, I have to admit that it can be very challenging and emotionally draining for most parts of the time. I pray everyday that God will grant me the strength and wisdom as I interact and help the members.

homecoming

Last day of Year 2011! It's 30 minutes to 2012! :D

I was out shopping with hun in the afternoon, was a great time; had "once upon a milkshake" (very jelat!), shopped for shoes and nat nat's present, hun got me my christmas present - Issey Miyake perfume which I LOVEEE! <3 and we also looked around for my christmas present for him :)

One of the highlights of this month would be the meetup with Cui (yes, she's back!). Hun got to meet her and Mark for the first time and Yee joined us too!

Really brings back the good ol' times we had back in secondary school, just that we've all grown up and headed to different paths, wherever our vocation may take us to :)

Hope to write a better post in time to come, gonna countdown in a matter of minutes! :)

Happy New Year to all! Blessings and peace!

Ok guys, so stop-motion isn't something new on the market but I thought that this vid by Kina Grannis for her "In Your Arms" music video was so creative and took so much hard work to do. Enjoy! :)

teething problems

Hello world!

It's been a month since I last updated and man, so much has happened (as usual). Work has been busy; busy days ahead I must say and I have other challenges to deal with but I'm praying that God will see me through :)

So far so good..somehow I feel that ever since I officially stepped into the corporate world, I can sense that I've changed; in a sense that I actually feel older. Maybe that's what happens to each and every one of us as we experience this change, this supposed milestone in our lives, the need for us to be more mature in our thinking and professional in our dealings. I realised that these days, problems which were once considered overwhelming are now deemed as trivial (as bigger issues come about). The way I deal and respond to people and situations are much more measured and I would like to think that I am less impulsive than before.
As much as I embrace the changes I'm going through, which are inevitably shaped by my circumstances, I hope that the essential part of me remains the same; the part which my loved ones still cherish and recognise me for as something unique about me.

'Would like to share some insights from the devotional I read today while on the way to the Children's Day Bazaar at Yishun (which was a satisfying event in all). It is entitled "Truths that hold us Steady" written by Joe Stowell, and I find it quite encouraging as it touches on how we should face up to the storms in our life. Here are a few excerpts:

You can be absolutely sure that you are not the only one who has gone through this kind of problem. You haven't been singled out by God to be the one individual in the history of the human race selected to experience a situation like this. There were others before you, and there will be others after you. . . though we may be bent, we will never be broken. Our lives only become brittle and fatally broken when, by poor responses, we permit bitterness to add extra weight to the load of our struggle.


All of us have had the feeling at times that God really hasn't been doing anything for us in a long, long time. . Yet beyond that, He's active every day in my life ad He stands as the sentinel at the gate of my existence, weighing, measuring, and excluding everything that exceeds my load limit. Those are the things I know nothing about.


Suffering is a platform for the display of God's power. . .When trials put us on public display, it's our privilege, through biblical responses, to turn the tables on Satan's attempt to deface God's glory. . .Not only is pain a process with the purposes of demonstrating God's glory, but it's also a process that focuses on the purpose of enabling our growth in character and in competency for living. . .


We need to go to the Father and seek wisdom from Him. But if we're so distressed that we can't pray or don't know how to pray, Romans 8:26 assures us that the Holy Spirit takes the groanings that we can't even utter and brings them before the Father, untangles all their confusion, and lays them before Him on our behalf in accord with His will.Prayer in the midst of trouble helps us see God again. It gets our eyes off our problems and focuses us afresh on God. . .Prayer reveals things about myself.


That's all for now :)

It's been three months!

Have not been updating for long but it's been an event-filled three months as usual. Just a quick summary: I graduated in July, got a job and have been working for a month and this has been the main reason for keeping me busy and bustling. Really have to thank God for giving me a job that is related to my field of study and something which I don't dread going to work for (although I can't say the same for Monday blues). I'm working as a counsellor for psychiatric patients (i.e. people suffering from disorders such as schizophrenia, which is NOT split personality disorder, depression and mood disorders).

I loveeeeee interacting with them; they are the ones who make me smile whenever I drag myself to work especially members like GG and TP. They really brighten up my day to see that they are determined to fight their illness and re-integrate back to society.

Anyway, recently my caseload increased to 15 after the new admission I did last Friday. Our maximum caseload is 29 and I really hope I have good time management as I have to meet each member at least twice a month and come up with their care plans and all. I have no problems with meeting and talking to them but sometimes one can get emotionally tired after counselling them and thinking about the approach to use while doing so. I need your strength, God!
Besides my cases, which is my main job scope, I have to conduct some programmes (eg. character-building sessions, etc) for the members. Also, I'm currently involved in the worship ministry for staff devotion so that's a lot on my load for the time being. My colleagues are pretty nice people in general :)

Besides my job, I celebrated my birthday last week! :D Had Golden Mile Steamboat and chicken rice with chichi and dad for dinner just now. Besides that, chichi brought me to Lawry's for a nice steak dinner before catching a play called "Nadirah" at Drama Centre Black Box.

Their trademark Lawry's seasoning :)

:d

The waitress introduced this dish as a "spinning bowl salad", and she twirled the bowl on that bed of ice xD

Raj, our friendly (not neighbourhood) carver :D

Lawry's cut (medium well) with Yorkshire Pudding and mashed potato sans Hoseradish Sauce..yum! :d

 

I don't know how he did it but he got the waitresses to surprise me with a birthday truffle/souffle-like thing <3

Besides that, moom treated me to Imperial Treasure Dim Sum (after much debating over where to go):

 We ordered so much food that we had difficulty finishing it but nevertheless, NO REGRETS! :DD

 These are only some of the food items; looking at the E-fu noodles makes me feel like salivating *drools*

chichi "surprised" me with Awfully Chocolate's Chocolate & Banana Cake! :D

Eryi brought all of us to Shinsen Buffet on Sunday for a Japanese Buffet too. Food was not bad especially the sashimi and California Maki and Green Tea Ice-cream :)

 FYI, we had this before heading to Lawry's 2 hours later! xD

 The Green Tea Ice-cream was super milky but I love it! Had about 3 servings of it :d

These few days of sinful indulgence is doing my tummy no good. Besides this, Sheryl and Esther treated me to an International Buffet at Grand Copthorne Waterfront (there was Durian and Teh Tarik too!) and Ai Ping, Duc and Jo threw a night picnic at Changi Beach (equipped with candles, flowers, picnic basket and all) last Monday :D Thank God for such wonderful friends :)

Besides that, Presidential Elections was today and I get a day off from work because of that :D Moom said that the candidate I voted for would have a slim chance of winning but we'll see..

Have a good day folks! :DD