hello world!
rusty blog is finally updated after centuries xD
'been meaning to blog for so long but I keep having issues with the login and password such that I've been missing out on recording moments of epiphanies I've had for the past few years. Anyways, I'm glad to be back and writing. It's one of my New Year's resolutions: to be more regular in blogging and reflecting on my life and the events that I've gone through as it is not only good for my career and personal development but also for my spiritual growth as well, which brings me to my second resolution: to grow closer to God after a period of spiritual stagnation.
The decision I made in the second half of Year 2014 has been a painful but necessary step out of my comfort zone and it is already beginning to "show positive outcomes" (like how the world will phrase it). I realised that I've been missing out on all the spiritual food that I should have been fed with (I'm sure Chris would agree on me with this too). I've been so contented with my spiritual ikan bilis and rice that I fail to see the spiritual buffet spread out there. Ok phrasing it like this sounds a bit too gluttony but it really is applicable to me and I have experienced what I'd like to call a "spiritual growth spurt." This has translated into real-world transformations that I never knew would happen and although I can't reveal much here, let's just say that dying to oneself might seem like a loss at first but the sacrifice is worth it. Myself and my family are beginning to see the first fruits of this sacrifice and I can totally feel the joy. Now I understand how it feels like. I'm in a much better place now :')
With the aid of my trusty friend Facebook, I now look back on the events/achievements/accomplishments of Year 2014:
1. Start of my Masters course (now halfway through, hoping it ends quickly)
2. HK Winter Trip with A, N, WY, S ( I can feel the cool breeze of 长洲岛 and the smell of fresh, cheap and yummy seafood!)
3. A&A got married! :D
4. Lazarus & St. John's Island double date w the Gohs (lovely!)
5. HK/Guangzhou Summer Trip w essentially the same grp, minus N, including R&K.
6. Reprising my Ah Lian role in Red Production's drama "MRT" for 3 performances
7. being a bridesmaid for the first time at C&E's wedding
8. being part of the planning committee for M's proposal
9. Christmas stayover w the Goh's (cards against humanity...Ooo)
10. Going for Marriage Preparation Course and applying for BTO w my beloved :)
11. Passing my CPRP exam and being certified!
Of course, there were many transitions and movements as well and I felt like a traffic marshal and a part-time freelance host in my motherland:
1. AP leaving for Scotland to study
2. Yee being in Brisbane for at least a year (if I'm not wrong)
3. Cui being there even longer
4. Dhab going to Melbourne and having her first child
5. Jude, BB, MH and Mel leaving (and I believe, more to come)
6. Duc still out there travelling everywhere
2014 just swept past with all these events in tow. Next year will be a year full of weddings, proposals (I believe they will come, but not mine), births (super very many, my classmates being a productive bunch) and hopefully, no sad news of passings although inevitable. This year, bro's also gonna be in US for 6 months...
As for me, I can foresee a very tight and rigorous year ahead, mainly due to work and school commitments. Already as I'm typing this, I can feel the sense of pervading gloom and blues and I'm praying that I wouldn't feel this way. I have to hold on to the hope and promise that God will see me through and will give me the strength, wisdom and guidance through this.
06 January, 2015
30 March, 2013
28th March 2013, Thursday, 10.45pm, My room
I was reading a book about spiritual leadership and they were reiterating on the importance of prayer in a leader's life; that it was supposed to be a priority despite a leader's busy schedule (a top priority instead of a last resort). I decided to devote my time to pray, having been praying on-the-go for many months now, usually in the mornings on my way to work. Prayed for my work (wisdom and direction, and that everything i do, act, think will be in line with God's will and for the welfare of the clients). Also prayed for hun; that he will be able to study hard, study smart, manage his time well during this period,etc. Prayed for family, friends and colleagues as well. It was a simple, short prayer. Just like any other prayer on an ordinary day.
I was proven wrong.
Went back to reading after the prayer when suddenly, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit flooding me. I stopped reading. I had the sudden urge to just spend the next few moments to thank and praise God; I didn't know the source in which this sudden compulsion came about but I just yielded to it. I started thanking the Holy Spirit for guiding me and being my helper for the past few years. I just kept thanking Him. Although I didn't literally hear Him speak, I could feel Him working in me in indescribable ways and I was so touched by His presence that I teared involuntarily. All I could do was to just keep thanking and worshipping Him. All this which happened in my room on a quiet weekday night!
At that time, I wasn't even reading a particularly insightful sentence in the book when the presence of the Holy Spirit came about. I've never felt like this before; the feeling of having the urge to stop whatever I was doing and just thank and praise God. In fact, as far as i could remember, my prayers mostly contained requests more than adoration and thanksgiving. If I had to describe what happened tonight, it felt like God was "downloading" His wisdom and insights into me but you don't specifically know what insights. It's like looking at the computer icon which says "downloading in progress, how many minutes left" when it's downloading stuff.
Prayer is indeed a powerful means of connecting to God. Although I was tired in body, I could sense my inner being rejuvenated after this experience. Now I finally understand what it feels like when they say that the Holy Spirit touches you in indescribable ways and how to just be still and know that He is God. All these without words being uttered but just Being. To get away from all means of distraction and just dwell in His presence.
What a powerful and rejuvenating end to what was initially an uneventful night of reading and unwinding!
17 January, 2013
Brand new start to 2013 :)
An empowering song by Pink! Brilliant modern contemporary dance that expresses such raw emotion, coupled with awesome cinematography :)
03 July, 2012
Recently at work, our supervisor posed us 10 questions during our group therapy session, after which we were to reveal to the group our responses. the 10 questions were identical ("Who Am I?") and we got exasperated and running out of steam after awhile as we struggled to provide our responses but these are mine (mostly written out of response to my current position in general):
1. I am a person who thinks better than I talk and hopes to be understood
2. I am more introverted and need more personal space than you think
3. I am emotional and need a break from hearing sad stories at this point of time
4. I am a romantic at heart and am very loyal and loving
5. I am expressive and might flourish in theatre if I tried
6. I am always thinking of the welfare of others in general, often at the expense of myself
7. I am easily touched by the honesty and genuine-ness of people
8. I am blessed to be who I am and where I am now
9. I am a person who hopes to develop more in terms of knowing God
10. I am a person who needs to learn to say "No" more often
Perhaps some of the above may come as surprises to you and you might disagree but this was what I felt/am feeling at the moment. One thing that work has taught me is to be open and honest with myself and to accept myself for who I am despite of what others might think of me.
16 more days before I hit the one-year mark of working in the corporate world.
I have to say that it has indeed shaped my way of thinking and viewing people and Life, in general. It has also made me examine and reflect upon myself (my identity as an individual, and the values, beliefs and traits that I possess) as I work with the members. I have also learnt that self-care is essential to maintaining one's sanity regardless of one's vocation (Helping yourself before helping others).
Besides that, I have always felt that I have learnt so much from my members that I seem to be benefitting more from my relationships with them than they benefit from me! They have taught me appreciate the simple things in life and their honesty and transparency (though brutal and hurtful at times) is a breath of fresh air from the superficiality and facades that one will inevitably encounter in one's life.
Despite the fact that I'm thankful and glad that I find meaning in the work that I do, I have to admit that it can be very challenging and emotionally draining for most parts of the time. I pray everyday that God will grant me the strength and wisdom as I interact and help the members.
1. I am a person who thinks better than I talk and hopes to be understood
2. I am more introverted and need more personal space than you think
3. I am emotional and need a break from hearing sad stories at this point of time
4. I am a romantic at heart and am very loyal and loving
5. I am expressive and might flourish in theatre if I tried
6. I am always thinking of the welfare of others in general, often at the expense of myself
7. I am easily touched by the honesty and genuine-ness of people
8. I am blessed to be who I am and where I am now
9. I am a person who hopes to develop more in terms of knowing God
10. I am a person who needs to learn to say "No" more often
Perhaps some of the above may come as surprises to you and you might disagree but this was what I felt/am feeling at the moment. One thing that work has taught me is to be open and honest with myself and to accept myself for who I am despite of what others might think of me.
16 more days before I hit the one-year mark of working in the corporate world.
I have to say that it has indeed shaped my way of thinking and viewing people and Life, in general. It has also made me examine and reflect upon myself (my identity as an individual, and the values, beliefs and traits that I possess) as I work with the members. I have also learnt that self-care is essential to maintaining one's sanity regardless of one's vocation (Helping yourself before helping others).
Besides that, I have always felt that I have learnt so much from my members that I seem to be benefitting more from my relationships with them than they benefit from me! They have taught me appreciate the simple things in life and their honesty and transparency (though brutal and hurtful at times) is a breath of fresh air from the superficiality and facades that one will inevitably encounter in one's life.
Despite the fact that I'm thankful and glad that I find meaning in the work that I do, I have to admit that it can be very challenging and emotionally draining for most parts of the time. I pray everyday that God will grant me the strength and wisdom as I interact and help the members.
31 December, 2011
homecoming
Last day of Year 2011! It's 30 minutes to 2012! :D
I was out shopping with hun in the afternoon, was a great time; had "once upon a milkshake" (very jelat!), shopped for shoes and nat nat's present, hun got me my christmas present - Issey Miyake perfume which I LOVEEE! <3 and we also looked around for my christmas present for him :)
One of the highlights of this month would be the meetup with Cui (yes, she's back!). Hun got to meet her and Mark for the first time and Yee joined us too!
Really brings back the good ol' times we had back in secondary school, just that we've all grown up and headed to different paths, wherever our vocation may take us to :)
Hope to write a better post in time to come, gonna countdown in a matter of minutes! :)
Happy New Year to all! Blessings and peace!
I was out shopping with hun in the afternoon, was a great time; had "once upon a milkshake" (very jelat!), shopped for shoes and nat nat's present, hun got me my christmas present - Issey Miyake perfume which I LOVEEE! <3 and we also looked around for my christmas present for him :)
One of the highlights of this month would be the meetup with Cui (yes, she's back!). Hun got to meet her and Mark for the first time and Yee joined us too!
Really brings back the good ol' times we had back in secondary school, just that we've all grown up and headed to different paths, wherever our vocation may take us to :)
Hope to write a better post in time to come, gonna countdown in a matter of minutes! :)
Happy New Year to all! Blessings and peace!
05 November, 2011
02 October, 2011
teething problems
Hello world!
It's been a month since I last updated and man, so much has happened (as usual). Work has been busy; busy days ahead I must say and I have other challenges to deal with but I'm praying that God will see me through :)
So far so good..somehow I feel that ever since I officially stepped into the corporate world, I can sense that I've changed; in a sense that I actually feel older. Maybe that's what happens to each and every one of us as we experience this change, this supposed milestone in our lives, the need for us to be more mature in our thinking and professional in our dealings. I realised that these days, problems which were once considered overwhelming are now deemed as trivial (as bigger issues come about). The way I deal and respond to people and situations are much more measured and I would like to think that I am less impulsive than before.
As much as I embrace the changes I'm going through, which are inevitably shaped by my circumstances, I hope that the essential part of me remains the same; the part which my loved ones still cherish and recognise me for as something unique about me.
'Would like to share some insights from the devotional I read today while on the way to the Children's Day Bazaar at Yishun (which was a satisfying event in all). It is entitled "Truths that hold us Steady" written by Joe Stowell, and I find it quite encouraging as it touches on how we should face up to the storms in our life. Here are a few excerpts:
You can be absolutely sure that you are not the only one who has gone through this kind of problem. You haven't been singled out by God to be the one individual in the history of the human race selected to experience a situation like this. There were others before you, and there will be others after you. . . though we may be bent, we will never be broken. Our lives only become brittle and fatally broken when, by poor responses, we permit bitterness to add extra weight to the load of our struggle.
All of us have had the feeling at times that God really hasn't been doing anything for us in a long, long time. . Yet beyond that, He's active every day in my life ad He stands as the sentinel at the gate of my existence, weighing, measuring, and excluding everything that exceeds my load limit. Those are the things I know nothing about.
Suffering is a platform for the display of God's power. . .When trials put us on public display, it's our privilege, through biblical responses, to turn the tables on Satan's attempt to deface God's glory. . .Not only is pain a process with the purposes of demonstrating God's glory, but it's also a process that focuses on the purpose of enabling our growth in character and in competency for living. . .
We need to go to the Father and seek wisdom from Him. But if we're so distressed that we can't pray or don't know how to pray, Romans 8:26 assures us that the Holy Spirit takes the groanings that we can't even utter and brings them before the Father, untangles all their confusion, and lays them before Him on our behalf in accord with His will.Prayer in the midst of trouble helps us see God again. It gets our eyes off our problems and focuses us afresh on God. . .Prayer reveals things about myself.
That's all for now :)
It's been a month since I last updated and man, so much has happened (as usual). Work has been busy; busy days ahead I must say and I have other challenges to deal with but I'm praying that God will see me through :)
So far so good..somehow I feel that ever since I officially stepped into the corporate world, I can sense that I've changed; in a sense that I actually feel older. Maybe that's what happens to each and every one of us as we experience this change, this supposed milestone in our lives, the need for us to be more mature in our thinking and professional in our dealings. I realised that these days, problems which were once considered overwhelming are now deemed as trivial (as bigger issues come about). The way I deal and respond to people and situations are much more measured and I would like to think that I am less impulsive than before.
As much as I embrace the changes I'm going through, which are inevitably shaped by my circumstances, I hope that the essential part of me remains the same; the part which my loved ones still cherish and recognise me for as something unique about me.
'Would like to share some insights from the devotional I read today while on the way to the Children's Day Bazaar at Yishun (which was a satisfying event in all). It is entitled "Truths that hold us Steady" written by Joe Stowell, and I find it quite encouraging as it touches on how we should face up to the storms in our life. Here are a few excerpts:
You can be absolutely sure that you are not the only one who has gone through this kind of problem. You haven't been singled out by God to be the one individual in the history of the human race selected to experience a situation like this. There were others before you, and there will be others after you. . . though we may be bent, we will never be broken. Our lives only become brittle and fatally broken when, by poor responses, we permit bitterness to add extra weight to the load of our struggle.
All of us have had the feeling at times that God really hasn't been doing anything for us in a long, long time. . Yet beyond that, He's active every day in my life ad He stands as the sentinel at the gate of my existence, weighing, measuring, and excluding everything that exceeds my load limit. Those are the things I know nothing about.
Suffering is a platform for the display of God's power. . .When trials put us on public display, it's our privilege, through biblical responses, to turn the tables on Satan's attempt to deface God's glory. . .Not only is pain a process with the purposes of demonstrating God's glory, but it's also a process that focuses on the purpose of enabling our growth in character and in competency for living. . .
We need to go to the Father and seek wisdom from Him. But if we're so distressed that we can't pray or don't know how to pray, Romans 8:26 assures us that the Holy Spirit takes the groanings that we can't even utter and brings them before the Father, untangles all their confusion, and lays them before Him on our behalf in accord with His will.Prayer in the midst of trouble helps us see God again. It gets our eyes off our problems and focuses us afresh on God. . .Prayer reveals things about myself.
That's all for now :)
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