Pixie Lott - 'Gravity'

I thought I should be getting better at it...

" Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

[Romans 5:1-5]

Such a timely message, in light of how I felt last night. Anyway, I think this verse is also applicable to you guys and hopefully it serves as an appropriate encouragement as well.

On another note, we just got back from visiting the grandparents. Thank God Mama's happily settled in the nursing home. She was showing us around the place: where her bed was, who her friends were, etc...We're all so glad and happy that she's doing well.

And Yeye's doing well too although he wants to go home asap (he's been pleading with the nurses to discharge him and he even knows that they're perpetually lying to him by telling him he will be discharged "by this afternoon" haha!) Another sign that he's recuperating? He wanted Daddy to buy 4D (the numbers were based on his bed no. and the bed no. that was opposite from his!) Besides, he told us to pass the message to Mama to take care of herself and that she's constantly on his mind (such a loving pair of elderly star-crossed lovers,haha).

tete-a-tete

1st of July today, can't believe the hols are ending soon;and it's almost the end of the week too.

Mama was transferred to a nursing home in Simei last week on the day Yee and Joan came over for dinner and the movie marathon. Just checked with the nurse the previous day and heard that she's doing well. As for Yeye, he's also transferred to a hospital in Simei which makes it very convenient to visit both of them so thank God for that...

This week was great!

1. Met up with LY before HOF (can never forget the caffeine overdose. This really confirms that I'm slightly caffeine-intolerant, haha)

2. had Amazing Race (we were leading at first 'cos of Vir's great Sudoku skills but we lost out at the route from *SCAPE Park to the former Japanese Gardens, which was supposed to be nestled between Commonwealth and Queenstown. Subsequently, Walter's team and ours went to the wrong pitstop 'cos we mistaken Woodlands Waterfront Park for Punggol "future" jetty, which was quite funny (took the bus to Punggol Road End - see how ulu-sounding the name is - and when we literally reached the end, we were met with construction cranes and mounds of sand, haha!) Got eliminated by phone when we were en route to "Sembawang jetty."

3. Had 9(-2) baskets of Xiao Long Bao with Duc (still can't believe it!). Can't agree more that the Steamboat cum Xiao Long Bao deal is worth it! And of course, the singing as usual. I'll not elaborate on the eyeliner here though, haha!

4. Met Rhyss and Steph for prata and ice-cream. Great time catching up as usual but somehow I notice that the topics will inevitably veer towards marriage (Why Steph?! haha!)

5. Watched Full Monty with Nat. One of the best musicals I've seen for a long time and it's not because of the fact that they really went nude eventually (they did it in a surprisingly tasteful, unrevealing way though. Does it make sense? haha...). Great debut for Adrian Pang's solo effort. Can't wait for their next show!

Other than that, it was swimming with Joan as usual and I got to meet up with AP today! :D Meeting up with Cui and the sec school pple next week cos Cui's back!

Jennifer Lopez - HD "Louboutins" Live Performance

J.Lo looks so good here...awesome!

The reason why I'm blogging earlier than usual is due to desperate attempts to calm myself down from my grandma, who is getting wayyyy out of hand. She started getting violent when I brought her to bathe just now (read: scratching and lashing out at me), all the while shrieking and wailing like a hyena out of control. She thinks that we're treating her like a "3-year old" - in her own words - and that we're not giving her privacy by bathing her. Don't get me wrong, we did try to ask her to bathe on her own but she'll continue sitting on her bed till kingdom come and she hasn't move as much as an inch. As such, we had no choice but to bring her in. It was REALLY bad and I'm just glad that I have some much-needed me-time now to come to my peaceful online sanctuary (drama or what, haha)...

As I'm typing this, she's still in the room muttering and grumbling under her breath (which reminds me that she hasn't brushed her teeth yet and that I haven't given her her saltwater gargle, drat). I'm this close to exploding like a nuclear bomb on steroids!!

And just before this recent outburst, which is known as "sundowning" (I researched) she was actually alright, but she was doing, what I would like to call "dry-crying." I tried to comfort her but to no avail. It's like she's lost in her own little degenerating universe of gloomy thoughts and that the only way out is getting into that alternate universe of hers.

Thank God that Maib is back from camp: she got quite a rude awakening to the horrors of what we've been through and unfortunately, Maib's fuse is shorter than mine, haha...

Just remembered that the hospital rang Dad up last night to request for permission for Yeye to be strapped to his bed cos he was wandering around the hospital last night, acting all "Cai Shen Ye" and throwing money from his pocket.

I don't know how to feel about all this, really. One moment I'm all optimistic and patient, trying to empathise with their situation (know it's not easy for Mama to be away from home for so long and away from her husband, and for Yeye to be cooped up so long). At other times, it'll be impatient, angst-ridden me shouting at Mama (I really tried but I'm human after all) and self-pitying myself. Last night I was over at their place getting their essentials so I got a chance to look through their belongings. They actually still kept my toothbrush from childhood in case I plan to stay over at their place again. And the toys my brother and I played with in our younger days when we stayed over were still there. Brought back a floodgate of memories...

Visited Yeye with Aunty Winnie (Dad's cousin)last night. He's on the brink of getting dementia too. He kept insisting that Mama bring us to his favourite restaurant and order glutinous rice (which he thinks is our favourite) for us. Kept taking out money from his pocket for it too.

I want the old "them" back. I wish dementia was just a dream, things will be so much easier. I can wake them up from this living nightmare and all of us wouldn't have to suffer anymore. It's heartbreaking.

Finally found out what's wrong with the internet connection (and fortunately the problem is the router, not my laptop!).

Anyway, my grandpa's still warded and though the doc said that he has recovered from his minor stroke, he's still in a dazed state (can't recognise and remember us at times). Grandma's now staying with us and from the sound of things, this might be a permanent measure. Even after grandpa gets discharged, he might come over too, and I'm wondering how we're gonna cope with that since all of us are so busy. I mean, it's already been four days and my brother and I are feeling the effects of taking care of grandma, who has dementia and starts getting cranky in the afternoons (she keeps going on and on about how her mother would be bringing her to the hospital, among other bizarre things she said).

I think the one who's undergoing a major lifestyle change would be my brother. Besides having to relocate to the sofa, he had to withstand the sudden appearance of dentures in his drinking cup and missing cash from his wallet (apparently my grandma took nothing but the cash from his wallet and clipped it together with her cash in her bag). And like us, he had to endure the endless whining and moaning of my very pessimistic and resigned grandma, who thinks that her husband is dead and who thinks that we're keeping the "death" from her.

I'm just concerned that this will affect my brother's A levels this year. He's already starting to lose his appetite, which was normally quite voracious. And what will happen when school starts for me and there's no one to take care of them? They were considering the old folk's home but I'm not really keen with the idea...urghh...

Anyway,I'm hoping that this wouldn't affect me that much. For now, the only changes in my routine would be that I would have to wake up much earlier than before and constantly keep a lookout, prepare her meals, bathe her and make sure she's kept occupied. But of course I would want my life to continue as normally as before, and I wouldn't want to be cooped up at home all day. It's like I have to think twice before stepping out of the house for any reason. It can drive me nuts at times, hearing the incessant muttering and also heartbreaking when she starts to cry and ask about my grandpa. Pray for us if you happen to see this ok, I need patience and your prayers, not pity..haha...

" Then the King said to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of my brothers of mine, you did for me.'

[Matthew 25:34-40]