J.Lo looks so good here...awesome!
19 June, 2010
The reason why I'm blogging earlier than usual is due to desperate attempts to calm myself down from my grandma, who is getting wayyyy out of hand. She started getting violent when I brought her to bathe just now (read: scratching and lashing out at me), all the while shrieking and wailing like a hyena out of control. She thinks that we're treating her like a "3-year old" - in her own words - and that we're not giving her privacy by bathing her. Don't get me wrong, we did try to ask her to bathe on her own but she'll continue sitting on her bed till kingdom come and she hasn't move as much as an inch. As such, we had no choice but to bring her in. It was REALLY bad and I'm just glad that I have some much-needed me-time now to come to my peaceful online sanctuary (drama or what, haha)...
As I'm typing this, she's still in the room muttering and grumbling under her breath (which reminds me that she hasn't brushed her teeth yet and that I haven't given her her saltwater gargle, drat). I'm this close to exploding like a nuclear bomb on steroids!!
And just before this recent outburst, which is known as "sundowning" (I researched) she was actually alright, but she was doing, what I would like to call "dry-crying." I tried to comfort her but to no avail. It's like she's lost in her own little degenerating universe of gloomy thoughts and that the only way out is getting into that alternate universe of hers.
Thank God that Maib is back from camp: she got quite a rude awakening to the horrors of what we've been through and unfortunately, Maib's fuse is shorter than mine, haha...
Just remembered that the hospital rang Dad up last night to request for permission for Yeye to be strapped to his bed cos he was wandering around the hospital last night, acting all "Cai Shen Ye" and throwing money from his pocket.
I don't know how to feel about all this, really. One moment I'm all optimistic and patient, trying to empathise with their situation (know it's not easy for Mama to be away from home for so long and away from her husband, and for Yeye to be cooped up so long). At other times, it'll be impatient, angst-ridden me shouting at Mama (I really tried but I'm human after all) and self-pitying myself. Last night I was over at their place getting their essentials so I got a chance to look through their belongings. They actually still kept my toothbrush from childhood in case I plan to stay over at their place again. And the toys my brother and I played with in our younger days when we stayed over were still there. Brought back a floodgate of memories...
Visited Yeye with Aunty Winnie (Dad's cousin)last night. He's on the brink of getting dementia too. He kept insisting that Mama bring us to his favourite restaurant and order glutinous rice (which he thinks is our favourite) for us. Kept taking out money from his pocket for it too.
I want the old "them" back. I wish dementia was just a dream, things will be so much easier. I can wake them up from this living nightmare and all of us wouldn't have to suffer anymore. It's heartbreaking.
As I'm typing this, she's still in the room muttering and grumbling under her breath (which reminds me that she hasn't brushed her teeth yet and that I haven't given her her saltwater gargle, drat). I'm this close to exploding like a nuclear bomb on steroids!!
And just before this recent outburst, which is known as "sundowning" (I researched) she was actually alright, but she was doing, what I would like to call "dry-crying." I tried to comfort her but to no avail. It's like she's lost in her own little degenerating universe of gloomy thoughts and that the only way out is getting into that alternate universe of hers.
Thank God that Maib is back from camp: she got quite a rude awakening to the horrors of what we've been through and unfortunately, Maib's fuse is shorter than mine, haha...
Just remembered that the hospital rang Dad up last night to request for permission for Yeye to be strapped to his bed cos he was wandering around the hospital last night, acting all "Cai Shen Ye" and throwing money from his pocket.
I don't know how to feel about all this, really. One moment I'm all optimistic and patient, trying to empathise with their situation (know it's not easy for Mama to be away from home for so long and away from her husband, and for Yeye to be cooped up so long). At other times, it'll be impatient, angst-ridden me shouting at Mama (I really tried but I'm human after all) and self-pitying myself. Last night I was over at their place getting their essentials so I got a chance to look through their belongings. They actually still kept my toothbrush from childhood in case I plan to stay over at their place again. And the toys my brother and I played with in our younger days when we stayed over were still there. Brought back a floodgate of memories...
Visited Yeye with Aunty Winnie (Dad's cousin)last night. He's on the brink of getting dementia too. He kept insisting that Mama bring us to his favourite restaurant and order glutinous rice (which he thinks is our favourite) for us. Kept taking out money from his pocket for it too.
I want the old "them" back. I wish dementia was just a dream, things will be so much easier. I can wake them up from this living nightmare and all of us wouldn't have to suffer anymore. It's heartbreaking.
18 June, 2010
Finally found out what's wrong with the internet connection (and fortunately the problem is the router, not my laptop!).
Anyway, my grandpa's still warded and though the doc said that he has recovered from his minor stroke, he's still in a dazed state (can't recognise and remember us at times). Grandma's now staying with us and from the sound of things, this might be a permanent measure. Even after grandpa gets discharged, he might come over too, and I'm wondering how we're gonna cope with that since all of us are so busy. I mean, it's already been four days and my brother and I are feeling the effects of taking care of grandma, who has dementia and starts getting cranky in the afternoons (she keeps going on and on about how her mother would be bringing her to the hospital, among other bizarre things she said).
I think the one who's undergoing a major lifestyle change would be my brother. Besides having to relocate to the sofa, he had to withstand the sudden appearance of dentures in his drinking cup and missing cash from his wallet (apparently my grandma took nothing but the cash from his wallet and clipped it together with her cash in her bag). And like us, he had to endure the endless whining and moaning of my very pessimistic and resigned grandma, who thinks that her husband is dead and who thinks that we're keeping the "death" from her.
I'm just concerned that this will affect my brother's A levels this year. He's already starting to lose his appetite, which was normally quite voracious. And what will happen when school starts for me and there's no one to take care of them? They were considering the old folk's home but I'm not really keen with the idea...urghh...
Anyway,I'm hoping that this wouldn't affect me that much. For now, the only changes in my routine would be that I would have to wake up much earlier than before and constantly keep a lookout, prepare her meals, bathe her and make sure she's kept occupied. But of course I would want my life to continue as normally as before, and I wouldn't want to be cooped up at home all day. It's like I have to think twice before stepping out of the house for any reason. It can drive me nuts at times, hearing the incessant muttering and also heartbreaking when she starts to cry and ask about my grandpa. Pray for us if you happen to see this ok, I need patience and your prayers, not pity..haha...
Anyway, my grandpa's still warded and though the doc said that he has recovered from his minor stroke, he's still in a dazed state (can't recognise and remember us at times). Grandma's now staying with us and from the sound of things, this might be a permanent measure. Even after grandpa gets discharged, he might come over too, and I'm wondering how we're gonna cope with that since all of us are so busy. I mean, it's already been four days and my brother and I are feeling the effects of taking care of grandma, who has dementia and starts getting cranky in the afternoons (she keeps going on and on about how her mother would be bringing her to the hospital, among other bizarre things she said).
I think the one who's undergoing a major lifestyle change would be my brother. Besides having to relocate to the sofa, he had to withstand the sudden appearance of dentures in his drinking cup and missing cash from his wallet (apparently my grandma took nothing but the cash from his wallet and clipped it together with her cash in her bag). And like us, he had to endure the endless whining and moaning of my very pessimistic and resigned grandma, who thinks that her husband is dead and who thinks that we're keeping the "death" from her.
I'm just concerned that this will affect my brother's A levels this year. He's already starting to lose his appetite, which was normally quite voracious. And what will happen when school starts for me and there's no one to take care of them? They were considering the old folk's home but I'm not really keen with the idea...urghh...
Anyway,I'm hoping that this wouldn't affect me that much. For now, the only changes in my routine would be that I would have to wake up much earlier than before and constantly keep a lookout, prepare her meals, bathe her and make sure she's kept occupied. But of course I would want my life to continue as normally as before, and I wouldn't want to be cooped up at home all day. It's like I have to think twice before stepping out of the house for any reason. It can drive me nuts at times, hearing the incessant muttering and also heartbreaking when she starts to cry and ask about my grandpa. Pray for us if you happen to see this ok, I need patience and your prayers, not pity..haha...
17 June, 2010
" Then the King said to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of my brothers of mine, you did for me.'
"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of my brothers of mine, you did for me.'
[Matthew 25:34-40]
10 June, 2010
Super Junior(슈퍼주니어)_미인아_뮤직비디오(MusicVideo)
Can't help but admit that I actually like this, haha. Grows on you after awhile esp the choreography. Dance, dance babeh!
Getting bored and restless now. Why am I complaining now that I have ample time to R&R? I think the problem lies with the fact that school has weaned me to treasure each second I have and to fully utilise my time to the max. Now that I have so much time on my hands, I've done all the things that I could do; for eg.cleaning the house, packing random things, exercising a lot and eating equally as much (if not more,haha), met up with friends, some of which I didn't expect to keep in touch with, etc...
But at least I have a job secured for the second half of July, all that's left now is the YMCA position (or the IMH internship). It's amazing how God really provides: was just praying about the job situation today and Jean called me in the afternoon after that! :D
Anyway, Lady Gaga's Alejandro music video's out. I think her music video budget is getting tighter cos she's cutting back on costumes and going back to basics, if you know what I mean. Or maybe she's reducing her carbon footprint by cutting the slack on costly fabric and getting all her backup dancers, including herself, to shave off their stylish coiffures and don, erm..."environmentally-friendly" haircuts so that they wouldn't have to use more energy for air-conditioning in this humid weather?
Arghh, any funny comedies, rom-coms or chick flicks to recommend? What I seriously need now is a really, really good laugh...
But at least I have a job secured for the second half of July, all that's left now is the YMCA position (or the IMH internship). It's amazing how God really provides: was just praying about the job situation today and Jean called me in the afternoon after that! :D
Anyway, Lady Gaga's Alejandro music video's out. I think her music video budget is getting tighter cos she's cutting back on costumes and going back to basics, if you know what I mean. Or maybe she's reducing her carbon footprint by cutting the slack on costly fabric and getting all her backup dancers, including herself, to shave off their stylish coiffures and don, erm..."environmentally-friendly" haircuts so that they wouldn't have to use more energy for air-conditioning in this humid weather?
Arghh, any funny comedies, rom-coms or chick flicks to recommend? What I seriously need now is a really, really good laugh...
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