to a loved one...

First things first, I disobeyed your order to read it before I sleep 'cos the offer was too tempting. What's with the rule of reading it only before I sleep anyway? You're making me have insomnia that way ok! :P

Anyway, your letter was a nice surprise, really...very encouraging (don't roll your eyes!) so, to ensure that your efforts won't go to waste, here's your reply(Disclaimer: In case you haven't noticed, Gemini is a double entity and likewise, I'm not that good with words too so, don't worry about that!).

Honestly speaking, I didn't know I was THAT significant to you, haha! I've been very blessed to know someone like you too. You've been equally, if not more, generous when it comes to spending time and money with me. Know something? I don't know why but somehow I tend to feel guilty when I'm out with you cos you seem to be paying for everything most of the time and also for listening to my rants and complaints, which are trivial compared to the problems you are facing now.

I admire your courage, your open-mindedness as well as your receptiveness in handling the things and the people around you. You've been as understanding and supportive in helping me with my decision-making, not forgetting your honesty, which can be difficult to convey to a friend as the truth hurts sometimes. I guess I still have a long way to go with regards to my self-esteem (as a boring person) and I'm actually quite surprised to see that you think otherwise 'cos you're wayyy more interesting than me man....

Truth be told, I enjoy spending time with you, really. I don't know about you but it seems to me that everywhere I go, there's surely one thing around, wherever I might be at that moment, that reminds me that we've "been there, done that" (if you know what I mean). Like what you've mentioned, we've done everything under the sun from food to fashion, music to movies (PS: "Twilight" is overrated and Russell Wong's cool okaye!?), from our recent fetish on staying fit to our innate love for lit.

Just to share with you, THAT night at the park was one of the best moments of Year 2008. (You remember it too, don't you?) I like the fact that we were oblivious to the people around us, especially your favourite SIM dragonboating hunk at the fitness corner, and were happy just sitting there and belting out whatever songs that came to our mind etc. Even our rendition of the National Day Songs (complete with our brand of alarming dance moves a la High School Musical cum MTV-style) was enough to make my day. Guess I could say that was one of the times I felt like myself again,haha....

Also, I really appreciate your willingness and your concern with regards to listening to my problems. The reason why I might seem reluctant to share about my issues is due to the fact that I'm inherently a cautious and reserved person (if you aren't already aware of it) and it can be quite hard to share my problems just like that but I promise I'll be more open with you about my stuff ok?

Most of all, I admire the love and concern you have for your family. I really don't know what to say...

And, and, and....don't ever think that you're insignificant to me 'cos you're not! Friendship cannot be computed in economical terms. Having more friends does not mean that the value of regard one feels for each friend shrinks like Economies of Scale (EOS) ok...Quantity does not equate to quality.

I hate to think that you perceive yourself as someone with no determination and diligence cos I believe that you do have these qualities. It's just that you do not realise it and actualise it as much yet. You might not be aware of it but your easy personality makes people around you feel at ease. That is also the reason why you should not be feeling depressed cos it really rubs off on the other party and you're only making me worry more.

I know it seems inappropriate to add this but my deepest desire is to see you getting out of your depressed psyche and taking control of your life cos it really hurts to see you suffering but not being able to help you as much as I'd liked to. I know I have no right to say this but I really wish that you'll see Life through a different lens, not as the dark and pessimistic one you deem it to be but that of one with endless possibilities, where things are fluid and ever-changing.

And much as I want to be there for you all the time, I know it is impossible due to my limited capacities as a human but I'd like you to know that you'll be a constant in my prayers and that God loves you and is always there to listen to you.

Finally, even though I mentioned earlier that this is a reply to your letter, and like all replies one has to be compelled to write stuff like that, take heart that everything comes from the heart and that I truly feel this way, even though I don't express it openly to you.

I really hope that this year (as well as in many other years to come) will be a booster to our friendship :D

PS: Quite random, but you are not banned from my blog now (I felt that I need to say this cos it would be quite unfair if I deny you access, at this point of our friendship, right?)