Recently, many things have been going through my mind and I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately. It's usually not my habit to discuss very personal stuff here simply because you wouldn't know who's reading your blog and it's just not right to air your dirty linen to everyone but I seriously need an outlet right now.
It's nice to have the house to yourself even for a morning [siblings will be at school!] and not to wake up early and join the rush hour crowd. Gives me more time for myself, which I SERIOUSLY hunger for after hanging out with friends almost everyday [not that I'm a loner but everyone needs their breathing space once in awhile]
It's just so stupid, must be this stupid emotional phase I'm going through now which I really hate 'cos it makes me unproductive. Sometimes, I wish I could be more pragmatic, less emotional, just like Mum or even Er Yi....
Recent events got me thinking about values and expectations. Are we ever free to live life the way we want it to be? It's just so hard sometimes, to live a life that God wants you to live and it's seriously a good test of faith. AND honestly, it's really hard to have a good balance between having fun without compromising on His word and how He wants us to live our lives.
Truth be told, sometimes it's hard to draw the line between being nice to the people you're with and being nice to the people whom are blacklisted by the people you're with [got that?]. Generally, I'm quite tolerant of people and it's not really in my nature to say mean things about people unless they irritate me or make me angry 'cos I don't think I'm that perfect to judge the flaws of others. This might be good or bad, depending on how you see it, cos most of the time I'll only see people for their good traits [unless everything about them screams bad].
Sometimes I really feel like a hypocrite until it reaches a point where it's best to remain silent [hmm,seems like this silent attitude of mine is gonna persist for quite some time...]
Cui and I went to Arab Street last week and we chanced upon this gourmet chocolate place. We chatted with the Uncle for about an hour and one of the things he said that left an impression was that he yearned for his childhood days: those days where everything was simple and you had good, clean fun.
From what I observe, to have fun these days would mean doing things:
(1) that would give people the impression that you're cool and all-grown up and mature when actually you're not.
(2) that would make you feel more accepted in your group of friends.
Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone but in general, this seems to be the trend.
My mum has being constantly advising me to be careful when it comes to choosing my life partner and I told her that it's getting harder these days to find someone who fits the bill, considering the world we are living in now where materialism, instant gratification and superficiality is everywhere.
School would be starting in 3 months' time. Lord, you know what I'm most worried about and I pray that you will intervene and guide me.
Sometimes I think I'm born in the wrong era.
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