06 January, 2011
Josh Groban Performs "Voce Existe Em Mim"
My second-favourite song on his new album, sung in Brazilian-Portuguese! 8)
04 January, 2011
Initially I planned to make this post (my first for Year 2011) about my reflections for the previous year as well as resolutions for this year (which I intend to fulfill!) but after packing my room, I recovered some primary and secondary school journals which we used to have for English lessons so I started penning some down in my blog just to remember them and shred the physical copies (Space in my room is as valuable as land in Singapore and Hong Kong now man!).
Anyway, I was smiling to myself while reading some of the entries and I can't believe how simple-minded and innocent I was back then. There was this entry in Primary School about my ambition in the future and this was what I wrote:
I want to be an Air Stewardess. My reason for being an Air Stewardess is because the salary is high and sometimes, I can't sleep at night so at least I have some work to do. I also like to serve the passengers because I like to take their orders. It can be quite fun. I must study hard to make my ambition come true so that by the time I reach university, I can train to be an Air Stewardess to serve the passengers better. I will work on an aeroplane, for example, Singapore Airlines, Qantas, etc...I will be a hardworking and polite Air Stewardess if I can get the job.
Think my parents will literally cry especially when they read the sentence with the university part, haha!
Besides the abovementioned entry, another one which got my attention was the one written in secondary school about what I plan to do when I hit 18. I think I sort of fulfilled some of what I planned to do like get a degree (which I am in the process of doing), go to amusement parks (although I don't think I fulfilled the thriller rides part sufficiently enough, cowardly as I am), drink (although I suspect that this criteria was accomplished before 18) and go backpacking with my aunt (although it was fulfilled partially cos we only went to Vietnam that year instead of around the world!)
It's nice to know how I was like last time. In fact, I can still recall exactly the thoughts that I had while writing the journals at that time, sometimes even the environment I was in, etc...Sometimes I can't believe I was THAT serious while jotting them down, now that I'm laughing at myself but I'm glad that things have changed (obviously).
Back to the point. Due to the fact that I was busy converting the journals to virtual space, I ended up putting the resolutions and reflections on hold. Well, I came up with three resolutions as people have been asking and they are to make better decisions, be more understanding towards people (maybe sometimes accepting who they are) and also to have more control of my life (saying "no" when appropriate). As for reflections, well, guess you all should know that 2010 wasn't as ideal as I would like it to be but it has, no doubt, taught me many lessons (sometimes I'm bored of hearing myself say this over and over again). I'm glad I tried many things too and got to know a few more interesting people. Anyway, I'm hoping that 2011 would be a better year, haha!
Speaking of trying new things, I've recently agreed to taking up Handball with an external club. We've been training for close to a month and I'm slowly getting the hang of it. Tonight was just one of the nights we trained and I was rather disappointed with myself for not having enough confidence and for not being daring enough to actually try to shoot the ball into the goal. If you look at videos of how they shoot during Handball tournaments, it's not as easy as it looks (at least to me). Not only must you figure out how to get past the defenders, who are very fond of clamping you down, but you have to decide where to aim so as to prevent it from being saved by the goalie easily. I haven't even reached the part of shooting with style.
Anyway, I did try to shoot but it always gets saved due to it lacking power and it being such a direct shot, and this further decreases my morale. This increasingly discourages me from shooting even when I have a chance to and I end up playing support most of the time, in terms of feeding the ball to my teammates (which I think I'm doing ok).
Argghh, guess I have to either persist in it or give it up altogether (although it sounds quite escapist, haha). We'll see how it goes...
Other than that, Round 2A of bidding starts tomorrow. I'm really hoping I can secure the Theatre module and the Music module (which I dropped 2 semesters ago). Keeping my fingers crossed!
Anyway, I was smiling to myself while reading some of the entries and I can't believe how simple-minded and innocent I was back then. There was this entry in Primary School about my ambition in the future and this was what I wrote:
I want to be an Air Stewardess. My reason for being an Air Stewardess is because the salary is high and sometimes, I can't sleep at night so at least I have some work to do. I also like to serve the passengers because I like to take their orders. It can be quite fun. I must study hard to make my ambition come true so that by the time I reach university, I can train to be an Air Stewardess to serve the passengers better. I will work on an aeroplane, for example, Singapore Airlines, Qantas, etc...I will be a hardworking and polite Air Stewardess if I can get the job.
Think my parents will literally cry especially when they read the sentence with the university part, haha!
Besides the abovementioned entry, another one which got my attention was the one written in secondary school about what I plan to do when I hit 18. I think I sort of fulfilled some of what I planned to do like get a degree (which I am in the process of doing), go to amusement parks (although I don't think I fulfilled the thriller rides part sufficiently enough, cowardly as I am), drink (although I suspect that this criteria was accomplished before 18) and go backpacking with my aunt (although it was fulfilled partially cos we only went to Vietnam that year instead of around the world!)
It's nice to know how I was like last time. In fact, I can still recall exactly the thoughts that I had while writing the journals at that time, sometimes even the environment I was in, etc...Sometimes I can't believe I was THAT serious while jotting them down, now that I'm laughing at myself but I'm glad that things have changed (obviously).
Back to the point. Due to the fact that I was busy converting the journals to virtual space, I ended up putting the resolutions and reflections on hold. Well, I came up with three resolutions as people have been asking and they are to make better decisions, be more understanding towards people (maybe sometimes accepting who they are) and also to have more control of my life (saying "no" when appropriate). As for reflections, well, guess you all should know that 2010 wasn't as ideal as I would like it to be but it has, no doubt, taught me many lessons (sometimes I'm bored of hearing myself say this over and over again). I'm glad I tried many things too and got to know a few more interesting people. Anyway, I'm hoping that 2011 would be a better year, haha!
Speaking of trying new things, I've recently agreed to taking up Handball with an external club. We've been training for close to a month and I'm slowly getting the hang of it. Tonight was just one of the nights we trained and I was rather disappointed with myself for not having enough confidence and for not being daring enough to actually try to shoot the ball into the goal. If you look at videos of how they shoot during Handball tournaments, it's not as easy as it looks (at least to me). Not only must you figure out how to get past the defenders, who are very fond of clamping you down, but you have to decide where to aim so as to prevent it from being saved by the goalie easily. I haven't even reached the part of shooting with style.
Anyway, I did try to shoot but it always gets saved due to it lacking power and it being such a direct shot, and this further decreases my morale. This increasingly discourages me from shooting even when I have a chance to and I end up playing support most of the time, in terms of feeding the ball to my teammates (which I think I'm doing ok).
Argghh, guess I have to either persist in it or give it up altogether (although it sounds quite escapist, haha). We'll see how it goes...
Other than that, Round 2A of bidding starts tomorrow. I'm really hoping I can secure the Theatre module and the Music module (which I dropped 2 semesters ago). Keeping my fingers crossed!
31 December, 2010
Josh Groban - Higher Window (GMA Fall Concert Series 2010)
I drew my line across the sand
And set my flag in no man's land
But here I am the one man band
With a song that's meant for two
And there is a light, from a higher window
Shining down on you tonight
And the music floats on the breeze
Bringing an easier time
And all of our cards are on the table
Tell me what you want to do
Just don't tell me that it's too late
For me to love you
09 December, 2010
the closure I need
It's been awhile. Feeling quite lazy to blog, don't really see the need to now but since I can be quite sure readership here is close to non-existence, I feel free-er to say more stuff.
It's been almost 2 months since Yeye's demise. Though I'm feeling better, I still think about him once in awhile. Sometimes I forget he's gone. I will plan to go to his place in Chinatown and keep in mind to get his usual favourite Yam Cake before going up to visit him, and then the realisation will sink in again. I only dreamt of him once though, but like most dreams I forget what happened.
In terms of school, I can safely say I enjoyed this semester a lot more than the previous sems, especially for Cog Psych Lab module. Stephen Lim's a really good lecturer and friend and I highly recommend any Psych student in NUS to do his modules. He can somehow spark interest in a somewhat dry and technical field in Psych (Cognitive Psych to be precise), not to mention he really cares for the students' welfare. Very encouraging chap too, I must add (he was up in the wee hours of the night answering email queries for last-min chiongers (aka my group), who were still doubtful/panicking/unsure...very nice! And I'm blessed to know Tze Yin, Celine and Nic. They rock! :D
Group Dynamics wasn't too bad either, at least I got to meet like-minded people and had fun along the way (although I'm still feeling sore over the Taboo grading system cos we lost!)
19th Century Lit was only fun cos of the tutorial class I'm in. Gordon and co. are really nice people. But NO MORE DAPHNE PAN MODULES. EVER.
Besides school, it's business as usual in church. Christmas events dominating my December calendar (Cell group party, youth service party, rehearsals for youth service party, Christmas in the North, Christmas festival, the list goes on) At least the Avatar costumes are more or less settled (found a cost-effective way to make blue body paint, thank God!) And props for movie re-enactment are done! Now for the people to learn their roles and coordinate well.
And after weeks of slogging on Saturdays, we're finally performing this sat (Alan and Corinne's play, that is). To be honest, this is one of the better things that's happening right now. I mean, I get to do something I love, reach out to people, not to mention the post-rehearsal outings and all have bonded us. It's really nice knowing that you have friends who got your back when times are tough and who are very supportive in their own unique way (Kudos to Alan, Nelvin, Trina, Wenyi) :) I'm just keeping my fingers crossed and praying very hard that I'll not screw up on Sat (forgetting my lines, not being able to control my laughter, etc..)!
Stanchart marathon 2010: Apart from my tak glam finisher photos, it was a personal disaster, with regards to my timing. I WILL do better for next year's Adidas Sundown 42.195 km! (yes, I signed up for it already. NO TURNING BACK!)
Cui and Dhab's back! One good thing about the year-end break is that they get to come back, although I have a feeling it wouldn't be so frequent anymore. Anyway, it was just like old times again. We've all grown and changed in our own ways but yet we're still the same in some aspects. Old friends are like comfort food, you'll never grow tired of hanging out with them (well, at least for me..haha). Hope the Aussie roadtrip materialises! And the Manchester one with Yee too.
On another note, God's been really good and like I said earlier, He brought in the right people at a time when I needed encouragement and support the most (sorry, emo/sentimental ranting moments again but it's MY blog, too bad!). Although it might be trivial to some, I really appreciate the times spent with Alan and co. recently (the JB outings, words of advice and support, prayers, lunch/dinner treats, etc). Not forgetting Lou (surprise, surprise but he was a dark horse when it comes to dishing out advice,haha) and of course AP, who was always there :)
Taken from ODB: "Sometimes God gives us the opportunity to use the lessons we've learned and the comfort He's given us during difficult times to help others in special ways . . .God doesn't comfort us to make us comfortable; He comforts us to make us comforters."
I can't agree more with this statement. In fact, this is what keeps me going whenever I'm on the verge of wallowing in stupid self-pity, haha. Looking back, maybe things happen for a reason. I might feel stupid for doing what I did. Painful and unexpected it might have been but, looking on the bright side, I did learn something from it. I definitely grew stronger emotionally and hopefully, I'll be more prepared should something similar happen in the future because that's life (my adage for the moment, heh).
To reiterate my point and remind myself again,
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
[2 Corinthians 1:3-4]
~Peace out~
09 November, 2010
In Memoriam (1921-2010)
"How can one believe that when a human being dies a thing in itself has come to nothing? Mankind knows, directly and intuitively, that when this happens it is only a phenomenon coming to an end in time, the form of all phenomena, without the thing itself being affected thereby. We all feel that we are something other than a being which someone created out of nothing: from this arises the confidence that, while death may be able to end our life, it cannot end our existence."
[Schopenhauer, 'The Indestructibility of Being']
It's been close to 2 weeks since you left us. Although I've regained my composure and got on with life, the deafening void you left behind still leaves me in a state of disbelief, not to mention the indescribable emptiness which words can never adequately express.
Although you're gone, the memories persist. Nevertheless, I'm clinging on to the fact that this separation is temporary.
'Till we will meet again, Yeye. . .
10 October, 2010
15 September, 2010
It's been awhile!
Soccer season's finally overrr! So glad that Yee has given her 101% commitment in it too and I hope she enjoyed spending time with us..haha...
Well,I'm feeling perpetual stress these days and it's starting to irritate me. It got so bad last week that I actually took time out to go for a late-night jog just to get the endorphins pumping in my system.It's like I worry over the smallest things when I can actually do my best and trust God to deliver. It's just that I'm a natural worrywart and that's bad 'cos the stress is taking a toll on my hair too! :(
Actually, I've been thinking about the YCG (aka cell group) leader position for the past few weeks, ever since Pastor Alan approached me and I accepted. Honestly, I'm not sure if I can make the cut; it's like I'm not ready for it and it's quite weird 'cos there's some sort of role reversal going on in my YCG now 'cos my cell group leader stepped down and I'm replacing her, and I'm still getting used to it :X
All these happening when I haven't even started teaching yet! :S
Moreover, I'm having doubts about whether I'm able to commit and stuff (and whether my studies will be compromised). As it is 3 of the 5 weekday nights are occupied; 4 if there's leaders' prayer meeting...
For the optimistic friends from church whom I talked to regarding this, they have advised me to "go ahead, I trust you can do it, and leave it in God's hands", I'm really grateful and flattered and all but somehow my intuition tells me that on the other hand, there are others who think otherwise (and it shows sometimes, which is quite discouraging). I know I shouldn't be a respecter of Man and all but sometimes these things get to your head, especially when you're already stressed up and all and someone has to come in and give their second opinion about what I should do and give their two cent's worth of unnecessary stuff.
I guess it's a major step to step out of my comfort zone (like what they always say) and see how God moves and uses me. I might even surprise myself in the process, who knows..haha...I really hope that I would be able to cope and manage my time well, I'm feeling so exhausted these days...I need a break!
On the academic side, I have many presentations going on and assignments to rush out as usual. Paediatric psych's getting quite boring 'cos it wasn't as how I imagined it to be (the only interesting lecture so far was on children with cancer).
Lit has been great, so glad that Shan, Evatte and Ai Ping are in my tutorial,haha...and not forgetting Charles (who never fails to crack us up), Stephanie (the sweet and demure girl who loves Germany) and Gordon (our devil's advocate) as well as the rest :)
For Group Dynamics, we're off to a great start and I'm starting to get really excited about the group trip. Just discovered today that our activity was the most authentic amongst the groups in our tutorial so, hope everything turns out well and that everyone will have fun...
Emotions lecture's interesting but we keep missing lectures due to the many public holidays on Friday! And as for Cog Psych Lab, I hope I made the right choice by signing up for it, we'll see how it goes....
Ok I know I'm starting to blabber already.
Argghh...so many things on my mind but anyway, I'm thankful for the usual few (especially the two) who's constantly there for me,pushing me on and cheering me up; you know who you are and I love you! :)
Anyway, I've not really been meeting up with people so, apologies if it happens to be you and you're reading this. I'll get down to it once everything's more "stabilised", haha! Wondering how you guys are doing too but hope everything's going steady for you! :D
Soccer season's finally overrr! So glad that Yee has given her 101% commitment in it too and I hope she enjoyed spending time with us..haha...
Well,I'm feeling perpetual stress these days and it's starting to irritate me. It got so bad last week that I actually took time out to go for a late-night jog just to get the endorphins pumping in my system.It's like I worry over the smallest things when I can actually do my best and trust God to deliver. It's just that I'm a natural worrywart and that's bad 'cos the stress is taking a toll on my hair too! :(
Actually, I've been thinking about the YCG (aka cell group) leader position for the past few weeks, ever since Pastor Alan approached me and I accepted. Honestly, I'm not sure if I can make the cut; it's like I'm not ready for it and it's quite weird 'cos there's some sort of role reversal going on in my YCG now 'cos my cell group leader stepped down and I'm replacing her, and I'm still getting used to it :X
All these happening when I haven't even started teaching yet! :S
Moreover, I'm having doubts about whether I'm able to commit and stuff (and whether my studies will be compromised). As it is 3 of the 5 weekday nights are occupied; 4 if there's leaders' prayer meeting...
For the optimistic friends from church whom I talked to regarding this, they have advised me to "go ahead, I trust you can do it, and leave it in God's hands", I'm really grateful and flattered and all but somehow my intuition tells me that on the other hand, there are others who think otherwise (and it shows sometimes, which is quite discouraging). I know I shouldn't be a respecter of Man and all but sometimes these things get to your head, especially when you're already stressed up and all and someone has to come in and give their second opinion about what I should do and give their two cent's worth of unnecessary stuff.
I guess it's a major step to step out of my comfort zone (like what they always say) and see how God moves and uses me. I might even surprise myself in the process, who knows..haha...I really hope that I would be able to cope and manage my time well, I'm feeling so exhausted these days...I need a break!
On the academic side, I have many presentations going on and assignments to rush out as usual. Paediatric psych's getting quite boring 'cos it wasn't as how I imagined it to be (the only interesting lecture so far was on children with cancer).
Lit has been great, so glad that Shan, Evatte and Ai Ping are in my tutorial,haha...and not forgetting Charles (who never fails to crack us up), Stephanie (the sweet and demure girl who loves Germany) and Gordon (our devil's advocate) as well as the rest :)
For Group Dynamics, we're off to a great start and I'm starting to get really excited about the group trip. Just discovered today that our activity was the most authentic amongst the groups in our tutorial so, hope everything turns out well and that everyone will have fun...
Emotions lecture's interesting but we keep missing lectures due to the many public holidays on Friday! And as for Cog Psych Lab, I hope I made the right choice by signing up for it, we'll see how it goes....
Ok I know I'm starting to blabber already.
Argghh...so many things on my mind but anyway, I'm thankful for the usual few (especially the two) who's constantly there for me,pushing me on and cheering me up; you know who you are and I love you! :)
Anyway, I've not really been meeting up with people so, apologies if it happens to be you and you're reading this. I'll get down to it once everything's more "stabilised", haha! Wondering how you guys are doing too but hope everything's going steady for you! :D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)